Trapped

Chapter 18

Ark 4 Beginning 

Jeong-Hui 

Hi Lee Dong-Min?

I don't know if you'll ever even read this letter but I wanted to write down what has been happening. Ever since that day when I went over to your place and I met Astro, my life has gone crazy. 

I broke up with Si-Woo! I'm pretty sure you would be glad about that, you kept saying he was bad for me and now I agree. I was so stubborn at first just like we met. Do you remember? 

I don't know how I'll ever forget, you were my first friend a̶n̶d̶ ̶c̶r̶u̶s̶h̶.̶.̶.̶

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"Hi. I'm sorry to bother you but I forgot my pencil at home can you lend me one?" a smaller, 6-year-old Dong-Min said.

"I don't have another pencil," a much smaller, 6-year-old me pointedly said.

"Yes, you do," he pointed to my spare pencils in my pencil pouch.

"No, I don't," I got my pencil pouch placing in on my lap.

"Why don't you let me use your pencil? You have more!" he whined.

"I don't want to give you my pencil!" 

"Why not?!"

"Cause you're annoying!"

Dong-Min gasped from my insult raising his hand to get the attention of our teacher, "Teacher! Yi Jeong-Hui called me annoying!"

Our teacher walked towards us, "Yi Jeong-Hui, why did you call Lee Dong-Min annoying?"

"Cause he's annoying! Look at his annoying face!" I pointed at him.

"Yi Jeong-Hui, don't scream at me," the teacher sternly said, "Now tell me why did you call Lee Dong-Min annoying?"

I glared at the teacher crossing my arms, "I called him annoying because his annoying face is so ugly."

"Ugly?! My mom tells me I'm super handsome for your information!" 

"Well, she's lying to you!"

"Yi Jeong-Hui, Lee Dong-Min, go sit in the back of the classroom in you're in time out!" the teacher pointed to the back four chairs.

"This is all your fault!" Dong-Min pointed at me trying his best not to cry.

"I don't care," I looked away from him which just made Dong-Min whine louder than better.

For the rest of the year, my only mission in life was to make Dong-Min cry again and again. It wasn't until a year later did we become friends. 

*^*

I remember how stubborn and mean I was and just like before, I was mean and stubborn to you after you confronted Si-Woo. I shouldn't have let a boy, nonetheless, one that didn't even treat me right go in the middle of our friendship, I'm sorry.

I̶f̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶p̶o̶l̶o̶g̶i̶z̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶p̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n̶.̶.̶.̶

I remember how sad I was when I was with Si-Woo and how pessimistic I was when I broke up with him. My whole life was Si-Woo and when it changed, I didn't know who I was. T̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶u̶n̶n̶i̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶e̶x̶a̶c̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶c̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶c̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶e̶f̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶t̶r̶a̶i̶n̶e̶e̶.̶ ̶

It's hard. I still, after 3 months, don't know I feel about Si-Woo. Am I sad? Am I mad? Do I forgive him? Should I?

Every time I think about Si-Woo I get sad. There was a time when I believed he was a good person, someone who took good care of me. When I think of the memories with Si-Woo, I get mad. I get mad thinking of the things he's said to me and the disgusting things he's done to me. 

I don't even know if I should forgive. Can I? He's gone and said all these disgusting things to me. I don't even know if I can think of him and not associate him to all these terrible things. What do you think about it? I'm not even going to ask, you'll probably never even let me think about forgiving Si-Woo.

At first, I didn't want to press charges against Si-Woo but l̶a̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶n̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶e̶r̶r̶i̶f̶i̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶  I didn't want him to do the same to others.

Aside from breaking up with Si-Woo, I made some new friends! I was never good at making friends with people, you were my only friend during school. I made friends with some police officers who are more down to earth than I expected. I bet they'll like you p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶a̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶.̶

I stopped college for a bit, but don't worry! It was just for a month or two and my finals are coming so I'm almost done with college! I'm so excited and as much as I want to see you at my graduation it's okay if you don't go. I̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶... 

Aside from college, I've been going to therapy for a month and so far I recommend it to you too. Even though I'm majoring in psychology I've never gone to therapy and when I did, I felt a b̶i̶t̶ lot better. I've only gone to therapy 4 times before and it's already made the weights on my shoulders feel lighter.

I've just been happier recently and now that I feel happier, I r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ want to see you. I̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶b̶e̶a̶u̶t̶i̶f̶u̶l̶ ̶p̶a̶l̶e̶ ̶s̶k̶i̶n̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶s̶m̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶c̶u̶t̶e̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶a̶d̶o̶r̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶c̶h̶e̶e̶k̶s̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶r̶o̶s̶y̶ ̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶l̶i̶p̶s̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶s̶i̶l̶k̶y̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶h̶a̶i̶r̶.̶ I don't care if I can't even talk to you I just want to see you happy and that will truly make me the happiest person alive. 

I̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶.̶.̶

*^*

Guys! I'm going to school tomorrow and yes, I am dying. I got soft while writing this chapter and I haven't been able to write cute things in a while. I was honestly getting tired of writing all that sad stuff so this was so cool! 

I'm going to keep this author note short because I'm tired and school. Stan Talent, Stan Astro, I love ya so so so much! Thanks for reading! Cya! <3