Kevedd-A New Mom

Panic

Edd's Pov

I breathed in for five then breathed out for six. Then again but this time I breathed out for less. I almost had a panic attack in front of Kevin... It's a good thing I made an excuse to calm myself down enough. My hands are starting to shake less. I need to ride out of this fast before anyone sees. Mr.Smith will be home soon and I don't think he needs to see a teenager panicking on his floor right after work. I wait till I can hear the shower turn on before getting up, and start getting ready for dinner.

I take steady breaths and think happy thoughts. I am alive. You are very lucky to have a roof over your head. You can eat whenever you want. You can buy any clothes you want. I can finally drive a car to school. You're able to swim. You're able to walk. You have the greatest two friends and the girls are nice too. I have a lot of fun. I-

I jumped as I heard a vibration from my back pocket. I almost dropped the tomato in my hand. It was a text from Auntie.

Hey! Plz stay at friend house til Mon I want to do something for John. Thnks.

I sigh and text okay back to her. I guess she deserves it, they've been gone on long shifts and just needed some alone time at the house minus the teenager. Where am I supposed to stay? Ugh! I can't just crash at Ed's or Eddy's place. Eddy was really invested into spending time with Lee so I'd probably just be a bother while on the other hand Ed was spending quality time with his father. He was telling me about it at lunch the other day. I couldn't bother him much less Sarah who is now dating Jimmy. I start to cut the tomatoes my hands shaking a bit. If I focus on the housework hopefully I can at least prevent another panic attack. I guess I should make another soup, so I'll make a thick creamy veggie-lemon soup. I don't want to make something to heavy but it's heavy enough for Mr.Smith. Yesterday I made chili for Mr.Smith out of request. I had taken a day off of school. I also gave Ed some for lunch as his mother had to leave extra early and Ed doesn't like cafeteria food.

In a flash I was almost done with the soup. I just need to keep stirring on the boiler which is on low for the next I stopped thinking about it when I heard the door open. I drop the knife, going to the door to say hello and good news to Mr.Smith.

"Welcome back, Mr. Smith! How was wo- Are those muddy shoes you're dragging into the house?" I ask. Goodness he has such bad habits! These men are such animals!

"Oh yeah! Sorry, I-I kinda forgot. What smells so good? Did you make anything like that chili?" He asked sniffing the air. He smells a bit sweaty so he must've went to the gym after work, no wonder he's hungry. "It's almost done. Now. take. Off. the. Shoes." I motion. Honestly doesn't he know how many germs he brings into the house on the floor I spent hours cleaning with pine sol, I also cleaned the carpets too. I tap my foot on the floor waiting for him to rush back to place his shoes on the shoe rack.

Once he does the frown melts off my face. "You must be tired. Kevin has awoken, so I suggest you say hello to him too before cleansing yourself in the shower. I'm almost done with dinner so be quick." The father's eyes lit up after he heard his son was awake. He'e been worried sick for the past two days. Though he was more open with his feelings to me after what happened the other day. Mr. Smith has really made some improvement. I giggle as I see him race up the stairs.

20 minutes later

I finished the soup as I place it three bowls to put on the table. Where can I go? Tomorrow is Friday so after my extra circulars where can I go. I can;t stay in the car at night or else I'll have a panic attack. I can't stay at my best friends homes nor can I stay at the girl's home. I try to push the thoughts out of my head placing everything neatly on the table.