The Meaning of Life

You

Kenzie POV
I run into my apartment and slam the door. When I get inside I burst into tears and slide down the door. " Kenz! " I hear him pounding at the door. " You cheated on me ! " I yell. "It's not what it looks like, I promise!" He says. " What was it huh? " " Let me explain! " " Explain what? Why you were with another girl? Behind my back! " "Kenz!" " No Jack! " "Just open the door! I don't want you there alone. I know what you can do!" He's right, what I can do. I need to end this, now. I get up to my feet and stumble to my kitchen. I open the drawer. I pick out the sharpest knife I can find. " Kenz! Let me explain... " I hear him crying and sobbing, pounding on the door. I don't want to do this anymore. No more, no more. I cut myself on the left wrist 12 times and let the blood fall down my arm, red and staining. It stains my white shirt. " Kenz! I don't want you to hurt yourself! " He cries. I walk to the door. " You should of thought of that before you cheated on me! " I yell. " Kenz! " He yells. The world is going in and out slowly. " Kenz! Please don't! I'm calling 911!" He cries . I fall on the ground and with a shaky hand I cut my left wrist repeatedly 12 more times. The blood is all over the front of my shirt. Then the world goes black.

I wake up. IV's in my arm. I look around. Mom, Mac, Juan and Alicia are sitting around me. " Why am I alive!!!!!! " I scream. " Kenzie, Kenzie. " Mom says. Shushing me.. " Baby." She cries kisses my face. " Why am I still here, I'm supposed to be dead. I'm supposed to be. " I stammer. " Stop Kenzie just take a breath. " Mac says, he is sitting right next to my bed. I don't want to be breathing. I want to be in hell. Rotting in hell. I don't deserve to live. I was cheated on. I'm not worth it. He made me feel like a big piece of nothing. I deserve to die because I am nothing. The doctor walks in, an ill look on her face. " Dear, we have bad news and good news. " " We wanna hear the good news. " Mom says. "I'm not supposed to be alive. I'm not. " Well good news is you didn't do any damage to your internal wrist except -. " " I hope it's worse " I wanted to do damage that could kill. " The bad news is that, you were diagnosed with, well. A bacteria went into your body. We are pumping antibiotics in you. If that doesn't work. Then well, it means you have a minimum of 3 months to live. " " What?! " My mom bursts into tears. I just lay there. I want to live. Not. Not. Not. I laugh. The family looks at me like I'm crazy. I'm laughing about my own death. It's in my blood. It's going too spread fast I'm in going to be out like a light. Out like a light. Then I won't have to worry. They don't want me to see them cry. They all walk out. The doctor too. I just laugh. I spend time laughing. Then the last person I want to see walks in. " Kenzie. " Jack stammers. " I don't want visitors. " I say. " I'm so sorry. " " He says. " That you think would cut it?! " I yell.

I reach my right hand and grab a water bottle. " Well I thought I could make it right. " " Get out of my room! " I yell. I throw it at him. " Kenzie! " He says, obviously surprised. I point to the door. " Get. Out. My. Room. Now. " I say. He walks to the door and when he looks back, I flip him off. I hate him. He is cruel. He is very very cruel. " And. Don't. Come. Back. " I say. He walks out. Seemingly unfazed. Maybe he did it just to hurt me. Maybe he wants to be the reason I happily die. Maybe. To think I actually said I love you to him. Just to think! I want to cry, but I want to scream. So loud he can hear it from him and his band's house in the hills. My mom walks in and hugs me and kisses my forehead. I don't want her kisses. Alicia wipes a fake tear. That self centered b****! She only cares about herself and her little boyfriend Rocco. Juan looks like he is actually crying, for my mom. He loves her, not her children. Mac and Mom hug me and cry. I smile. Wow, I don't want to live...