Why would he love me?

On the edge

Andrew

The cab hasn't even stopped before I jump out, throwing some money down.

"Keep the change." I throw over my shoulder.

Grabbing my phone, I call him as I run.

"Santa Monica."

"What?"

"He's at the Santa Monica cliffs. Get here now."

I hear him swear quietly in the background.

"We'll be there as soon as possible."

Just as I'm about to hang up, he speaks again, "Don't let him say goodbye."

"I won't, he'll still be here when you get there." The shake in my voice doesn't do much to convince either of us.

Hanging up, I try to call Garrett. I'm met with his answerphone. Fuck. Fuck. I hope I'm not too late. I can't be too late.

I'm sprinting up the gravel path, dust kicking up. The moonlight is shining on the path. It would almost be a beautiful night. It's deathly quiet here, peaceful for once. A change to the hustle and bustle of the streets of LA.

"Garrett?" I try to call out, it's a long shot. I'm not surprised when there's no reply. I pick up the pace, lungs burning.

"Garrett?"

My phone rings, causing me to drop it. As I fumble around on the floor, I curse my bad luck. What if it's him? What if I miss him?

"Hello?"

"We're almost here."

"What the fuck Shane, I thought it was him?"

"Look, should I call an ambulance or something? Just in case."

I hadn't thought of that. I was just thinking we'd be able to solve it ourselves. Naive, yes.

"I don't know, just do whatever."

"Wow, helpful."

"Not the time," I say through gritted teeth, rejoicing in the fact I'm almost at the top.

"Can you see him?"

I swear my heart stops as I survey the darkness. Squinting, I'm sure I make out a figure. Fuck yes.

"I think so."

I hang up immediately, focusing all my energy on running.

Garrett

My tears are running down my face as I step further out. My mind has switched off from the outside world. This is the right thing to do. I'm sure of it. 100% sure. No more pain. No more worrying. No more feeling helpless.

No one will care, Not Matt. Not Ricky. Not Caleb. Not Shane. Not Ry. Not Morgan. Not even Andrew. I know they're better off without me. They don't have to worry about me anymore.

I take another step. I'm on the cliff edge now. About a metre from the edge. Faintly, I can hear the faint sound of footsteps. I take another step. I'm a few centimetres from the edge now. I'm so close. So close to being free. To no more pain. I feel an ache in my arm. But that doesn't matter now.

For the first time, I notice the dried blood staining my shirt. It's on my arms, my legs. My face and my hand. I'm not sure how it happened. I'm so switched off from the pain now.

"GARRETT." It sounds sharp, forced, and out of breath.

I know who it is before I turn around but I turn nonetheless. He's a little in the distance, only visible by squinting. Why is he here? I wish he wasn't. I want to go without fuss. I've said my goodbyes. Subconsciously, I take another step towards the edge. I'm on the tip of it now. Nothing separating me from the sea. Nothing stopping me.