Serial Dating

Show My Ass Like A Stank Hoe

"I really don't feel qualified for partying," Lee confessed, turning around in front of his dorm mirror. It only showed him down to his waist, but he really needed to see how these shoes looked with his pants.

Frustrated, he turned around to where Rushil was reclining on his futon. Rushil had a pencil eraser in his mouth, tapping it against his lip. He looked up from his notebook to see Lee in a panic. Rushil scanned Lee from the head down and said, "You look fine."

"You're straight—you don't know that!" Lee cried.

"I'm serious, dude. Milo asks me for fashion advice all the time. If he didn't, he'd be wearing salmon pants and salmon shirts all day, every day."

Lee stopped to stare at him. Rushil nodded, the look on his face saying, "Yeah, buddy, I know."

Lee sighed and clasped his hands in front of him. "You are doing the Lord's work, truly."

"Thank you," Rushil said. "As for your outfit, why in the Hell don't you own a floor length mirror? I thought all gays had one?"

Lee sighed dismally as he flattened a hand over his purple t-shirt. "It broke during move-in. Never got a new one. You know how hard it is to stick a floor-length mirror on a bus?"

"Impossible, I imagine."

"Yeah, exactly." He put a hand to his chin and thought about it. He knew one man on this floor that might be able to save him. "But... I think I know someone who owns one."

He opened his dorm door and propped it with a wooden wedge. Rushil set his homework aside in favor of following Lee, saying, "Don't tell me it's the Resident Dad—Oh my God, it is!"

They journeyed down the hall to the far, opposite side of the corridor where the RA door label was. He approached with Rushil bouncing beside him, smiling wide as Lee reached over and gave a hearty knock on Ezra's door. The door openly so quickly that Lee had to suspect that Ezra was watching them through the peephole their entire walk down the hallway.

The door swung to a stop where Ezra—tall, dark, and handsome Ezra—leant up against the handle with a hand on his hip and said with a toss of his head, "What can I do for you?"

"Don't make it weird," Lee huffed.

"I'm not!" Ezra barked. "You came to me, might I remind you, so shoot! Oh, and hello again, Rushil, lovely to see you around here."

"Nice to see you again, Dad," Rushil said with a grin. Ezra held out a hand and Rushil high-fived it.

Lee sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I need to borrow your floor-length mirror, if that's cool."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Come on in," Ezra said. He swept his hand out in a grand gesture, ushering them inside.

Rushil took one look around the room and let out a startled, draining squeal like a dog just broke his squeaker. Lee had been in Ezra's room before and therefore, was numb to the sight of Live Laugh Love paraphernalia riddling the walls. Every inch of Ezra's wall space was covered in Live Laugh love signs, posters, prints—you name it—hung up on 3M Command strip hooks. They were puzzled together and fit just so that two inches of border space remained between the items. It was so precise, so accurate, that Lee had to assume that Ezra spent the better part of the summer organizing it all.

"Right there," Ezra said, pointing to a spot on the Live Laugh Love wall that was dedicated to a frameless mirror.

"Bingo. Thanks man," Lee said, sliding up in front of the mirror. He dragged a hand through his hair just to look like a frat guy and gave him reflection finger-guns. He twisted his ankles to the sides to see the high-top basketball sneakers. His joggers had black hems, but the fabric was a dark heather grey, which weren't exactly applicable to the black-and-white sneakers, but it would do.