Life is hard

Girls like Girls and boys

So school has started back up, time to cry about math I don't understand, stay up late studying only for teachers to yell that I shouldn't be sleeping in their classes like it isn't their fault and time for drama, heartbreak, crushes and relationships.

Ah, drama, heartbreaks, crushes and relationships the fuel for most in high school and for some even in college.

I have never been one to cause drama I'm usually the one sitting up front who knows everyone and everything so.... essentially the nerd.

I take pride not in being in fight or beating some one up but in helping someone with their problems because that means they trust me or in making someone's day because it's always better to be the reason someone is happy and not mad or sad at least that's my philosophy.

I also take pride in knowledge although I don't necessarily like actually having to get out of my house at an ungodly time to learn. I take pride because when I know the answer you best believe that I'm gonna raise my hand that I'm gonna be that one kid who almost always has the answers.

So I'm not the problematic one, I'm the one everyone know and is friends with because for the most part I'm pretty chill.

Here is where the story actually begins. I like this guy he is tall, strong, stubborn (in a good way), funny, chivalrous, caring, kind and just the perfect gentlemen in all aspects of the word and for the purpose of not exposing my self or others he will be just E

Now E he is great he can even sing and for a guy to sing it's very rare anyways, but you see I fell for him before I knew he had a girlfriend. Which sucks for me because his girlfriend is my best friend but I didn't know she was dating him until after I had already fell for him. You must be wondering well how did you not know she was dating him if she was your best friend? Well...... what happened was she has become my best friend but it was only recently which is why I didn't know.

Now that I do know, I've decided to bury my feelings for E very deeply and let them wither away with time which in reality isn't as easy as I thought it was gonna be because I see him in a couple of my classes and when you see someone constantly or think about them continuously your feelings can only grow but because I am a decent human being who isn't out for anyone's man I gonna hope that with time they go away.

Since I've done that I've also realized that I really like this girl from my chorus class who we are going to call L.

She is so different she's like on the other side of the spectrum but they do have their similarities.

She's small which is saying something because I'm 5'0 or 5'1 feet tall which is pretty short but she is SMALLER than me I didn't think that happened. L is strong maybe not physically but she is definitely strong minded; she is sarcastic to no end but I absolutely love that she doesn't hold back when she answers. L is funny, charming in her own way, pretty, kind and keeps to herself a lot. I just want to pick her up and call her mine but she doesn't even know I exist.

The funny thing is I always manage to attract the right attention from the wrong people cause you see there are to guys in my English class one who we are gonna call S and the other one C.

C had already asked me out and I had said no because one he isn't my type but also I don't know him that well and I'm gonna make a same mistake twice. To get his friends off my back about dating him I said I wasn't over my crush but if I was and I got to know him I might give him a chance.

S is actually really new because he just asked me today he said to me would you date me and I said probably not I'm sorry you're just not my type also I have a crush.

That's not even the crazy my ex texted me the other day saying he wanted to get close again and I was like this is such a bad idea but " bad ideas" is my middle name so I gave it a shot I was like "hello" and he completely ignored me and I learned a valuable lesson that day only give time to those who give time to you or that care about you.

To summarize, I have 2 crushes 1 I can't have and the other doesn't know I exist. 2 guys who want to date me neither of which I actually want to date currently and ex trying and failing to get back together with me.

"Girls like girls and boys, and never did I think that I would be caught in the way you caught me" - Panic At The Disco