That Beautiful Nightmare (paused)

Prologue

PROLOGUE.

When I was a kid, I used to believe that I have a dream-liked life. Because many kids at my age that time would say that they dream to have a life like mine. Sabi kasi nila, mala-fairytale daw ang buhay ko noon. Almost perfect pa nga raw.

I would definitely agree with that. May almost perfect family kami noon, nakukuha ko ang lahat ng gusto ko, at mayaman pa kami. Wala na raw akong mahihiling noon. ‘Yes’, I could yell them that answer, that time.

But now? It’s a big NO.

After a life-changing incident that happened to me? That belief changed. I just realized it actually.

That I am living in a nightmare-liked life. Na isang malaking bangungot ang buhay ng isang tao. Dahil kung ano pa iyong bagay na hindi mo ineexpect o ayaw mong mangyari ay iyon pa ang mangyayari. Na hihilingin mo na lang na sana bangungot lang iyon.

But again, that belief changed when I met him.

Well, it's not actually changed because I still believe that I have a nightmare-liked life. It's just he let me see and let me feel that this nightmare, can be this beautiful.

“You're not living in a nightmare, Yans. Because a nightmare can’t be this beautiful. I think it’s more appropriate if you would say that you’re living in a beautiful nightmare,” that was the exact line he said to me that made me change my belief.

That’s why now, I’m believing that I am living in a beautiful nightmare-liked life.

And it is because of him.

He, who let me see how beautiful this nightmare is.

He, who stayed by my side even if I’m always pushing him away.

He, who taught me everything that I wanted and never wanted to know.

He, who pulled me up when I was in the darkest times of my life.

He, who became the closest and true friend of mine.

He, who changed not just only my beliefs and everything about me, but also myself.

He, who let me feel different kinds of emotion in just a second.

He, who let me feel this weirdest feeling I ever had.

And lastly, he, who I started to love the most.

Thanks to him, I realized that everything in me is a big mistake.

And thanks to him, I changed these mistakes before it’s too late.

Well, it all started in that beautiful nightmare.

But if you’re going to ask me, why I have this beautiful nightmare-liked life? I would proudly answer you, “After he came into my nightmare-liked life, this nightmare became beautiful. It’s not because of the things that can make this nightmare beautiful. Instead, it’s because of him.”

Because he made this nightmare this beautiful.