after we went back home from the hospital, we held eachother all night.
zach was exhausted and depressed and it was all very clear to me now. i wanted to speak to him about the last few days but i couldn't bring myself to it.
i breathed in his scent and i was happy. he was alive.
i was not the religious person but i prayed that night. i prayed that everything would be alright. i wanted my lover to be happy once again. i wanted to know why this was happening to him.
he didn't deserve to feel this way.
i gripped him harder as our legs were entangled. we laid together, our arms wrapped around each other.
i didn't know where we could go from here.
i felt as if we had hit a dead end.
zach slowly moved away from our hold and smiled at me sadly. "i need to take a bath."
i nodded letting him go. i stared at the clock that read '3:45am' something prevented me from going back to sleep.
i stood up, walking into the bathroom. zach sat upright in the tub naked, head in his hands as he sobbed.
"honey?"
he didn't look as me as his sobs got louder. his behavior was scaring me. i looked to see a blade sat beside the tub.
"oh dear love, why?" i felt tears at my eyes. i've cried a lot lately but each one felt more hurtful than the last.
i dropped to his side and snatched the blade.
"NO PLEASE!" zach face was red and desperate.
i dropped the blade into the toilet before flushing it.
he sobbed which still surprised me. i wasn't used to the display of emotion zach had been showing lately.
when he was emotional it was like he was someone i didn't recognize.
all i did was hold zach and it seemed to help him. so i stepped inside the tub with him and held him as i did lately.
"we have to get through this, zach. this isn't how it was supposed to end." i held his hand as his crying lowered.
"this isn't you. this moment in our lives doesn't define who we are. it doesn't define who you are and who you're going to be." he shut his eyes tightly as he tried to breathe normally.
"this doesn't define us, zach. don't let our few rainy days be the end for us. after all, it wasn't a hurricane." i continued speaking to him hopeful.
"this isn't the end, soulmate. you promised me we would get married." my voice became desperate. i wanted him to believe me.
i wanted him to believe in us.
zach opened his eyes, letting out a loud scream. his voice cracked as he used all his might to scream as loud as he could.
he was letting his anger that built up out. i screamed and hollered with him staring at the ceiling. i held his naked body against my clothed body.
"let's do it then." zach whispered.
i knew this wouldn't be the end. it was only the beginning. zach and i would never forget this night we shared, screaming at the top of our lungs.
we even made love that night.
the next morning zach and i held eachothers hand tightly as we told his mother he was seeking professional help. his mother sobbed quietly as i explained the events of zach trying to take his own life more than once.
after a lot of consideration, she had told zach he would be admitted into a institution for suicide prevention.
"we will see eachother again. no one has ever meant more to me than you do." i looked my lover in the eyes as he set his bag down in his temporary room.
he caressed my cheek as the other one lay on the back of my neck.
"i love you, jack avery. i'll see you on the other side, baby." he leaned forward pressing his soft lips unto mine.
a beautiful kiss.
but this wasn't the end. it was the beginning.
_________________________
the beginning || jachary
coming soon :)
since you guys wanted a different ending so bad I had to give it to y'all ❤️
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