Pieces of the Present - [Danona] Book Two ✓

16. the final word

Thirty weeks. Officially 3/4ths of the way towards the finish line. Five short weeks had passed. Some portions of her thoughts had finally calmed, becoming less of a nuisance to her. Truth be told, having a heart-to-heart with her father had probably been the biggest help she'd had yet. 

Standing in the middle of Target, she stared down into one of the crib displays in the nursery aisle. Her eyes lazily followed along the grey chevron pattern on the sheets. To her surprise, it wasn't as daunting as she had expected it to be. Yes, it was still a very terrifying thought, but her father's words had constantly reverberated in her ears. 

"Have you actually sat and thought about what you want to do?"

She was learning to trust again. To trust her feelings and her wants again. It wasn't easy. But, she was growing alongside it slowly. It took a massive effort to try not to repress what her heart was telling her what she wanted, but hopefully, listening to her heart would be worth it. 

As much as she hated to say it, let alone think it, she really wanted to look down into a similar crib in a few weeks and see her soundly sleeping baby safely tucked inside. The more she learned to listen to her wants, the lighter the weight on her shoulders became... a feeling she had long forgotten about. 

She was allowing herself to actually think about the thoughts that had tried to come through for so long. About the ideas of what life would be like in six months, a year, two years, and so on. When she had first gotten pregnant, those kinds of thoughts stung like salt on a wound. To her, it was thinking about all of the things she would miss out on. 

"Katie,"

Instantly, the hairs on the back of her neck rose at a tension. She recognized the voice, one she hadn't heard in what felt like lifetimes. Squeezing her eyes shut, she counted three seconds before she forced herself to turn around. 

"Connor," she breathed. "Nice to see you," her comment came accompanied by her eyes staring down at the floor. She hadn't seen him since he had left the abroad program, and when she had left a few weeks after him. 

"It's nice to see you too," he smiled awkwardly, his eyes momentarily traveling towards her belly. 

The confrontation she had been fairly afraid of, now right in front of her. People knew, that was a given especially with her parents being, well, her parents. If TMZ and Us Magazine had caught wind of the situation, it was obvious that Connor would too. Everyone would. 

"Sorry... I've been avoiding your texts and stuff." she furrowed her brows, picking at her thumbnail as she tried to will the anxiety away. She had been terrified of the conversation she would inevitably need to have with him. The one where he would ask if it was his baby, and she would have to come up with an answer. Even just the thought made her skin crawl, internalizing shame in herself for a mistake she had made oceans away.