Incorrect Good Omens Quotes

~13~

Crowley: It was stressful as the police car beeped up.

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Adam: I hope the goats didn't eat the tombstones.

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Pepper: Wait, so they're talking about Christianity and you need a song quote?

Adam: Yes.

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Wensleydale: "Penis frog" doesn't sound as good as "tail frog".

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Pepper: My dad found a monkey skull on the forest floor and now it's on our mantle.

Brian: I once almost stepped in a dead inside-out squirrel.

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Crowley: It turned spoopy month the second it turned September.

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Aziraphale: I say the Lord's prayer in fifteen different languages.

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Anathema (to Newton): You look like a cub scout from the 1990s.

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Crowley: Hold up, thirty is bae.

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Crowley: We got more homeschoolers comin' through! *AgGrEsSiVe UnHoLy ScReEcHiNg*

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Mr. Young: That's me being a baby— no, holding a baby.

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Beelzebub: I'm not like other girls! I'm worse!

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Brian: Blue is the best flavor and you can't tell me otherwise!

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Wensleydale: Pickles always make me gag.

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Aziraphale: *Gives Crowley's number to Adam before Crowley and Aziraphale start dating*

Aziraphale: *Starts dating Crowley*

Adam: I'm going to send him a text that says this: "Hi! If you hurt Aziraphale, I will scoop your eyes out with a spoon then severe your tendons to make glue then rip your toenails off and make gelatin from them. Your brain will be pureéd. We will make hand puppets using your hands, ears, and hair. Then we will cut your tongue out and feed it to your cat for irony. Then we will flay you to be a rug. After that, we will butcher you and grill half the meat and make jerky from the other half. Also, your blood will be drained via syringe and donated to hospitals in need. All internal organs will be sold on the black market for profit."

Aziraphale: Adam, no!

Adam: I added this: "Have a nice day and keep being an awesome person!"

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Aziraphale: I got a meatball stuck in my hair.

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Shadwell: I just fed Fern's friend to Bean.

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Crowley: Do you ever think God lives in Heaven because She's afraid of what She created?

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Aziraphale: You guys gave me that cake, and I ate it. I ate all of it.

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Aziraphale: It's me kissing a little toad boi!

Crowley: You don't kiss them, you pet them!

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Newton: Oh no, a cockroach! No, just an earwig. No, just a seed moved by the air.

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Anathema: It's me in a formal dress... and Crocs.

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Anathema: This cat is a mood.

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Anathema: Hug palm trees with caution.

A/N: Today was an interesting day... Nearly every single quote in this chapter happened in the span of around an hour and a half, except for the first one, which happened two hours before that. And then class ended...