Crowley: Don't dis my death kazoo!
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Warlock: Did you hear about the guy who put eight thousand garden gnomes in his tomb?
Adam: Yeah, he was my art teacher. Our tombs are neighbors.
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Newton: Nebraska's freakin' wide!
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Aziraphale: *Tests a new type of thermometer on Adam*
Crowley: YES SCAN THE CHILD
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Anathema: I've watched five TED Talks about people growing up in cults.
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Crowley: Girls in heels make me feel FEELINGS so I'ma go now.
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Crowley (to Adam): If you milk the dog, no more PS4!
Crowley (to Aziraphale): The things I never thought I'd say as a parent...
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Wensleydale: I've achieved greatness. I can swallow seven pills at once.
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Aziraphale: My comforter is so dead...
Crowley: I came in the middle of the night and smashed it with a hammer and put a curse on it, just to make sure.
Aziraphale: Nooooooooooooooo
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Anathema: People in other countries are like "Yay, Happy New Year, everyone!" and Americans are like "WOO HAPPY NEW YEAR LET'S GO SHOOT A GUN IN THE AIR AND LAUNCH VERY ILLEGAL FIREWORKS".
Newton: And alcohol.
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*Crowley and Aziraphale explaining something they don't actually know to Adam*
Aziraphale: The drones are there to get in the way of the missiles that are trying to kill everyone.
Crowley: That's something I would say. I expect more from you.
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Crowley: How many atoms make up the radius of a spaghetti noodle?
Aziraphale: W-what?
Crowley: *Demonic laughter*
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Brian: Why has this cruel world cursed me with such wretched awkwardness?
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Anathema: Imagine werewolves but wererats. The teen genre fiction would be hilarious.
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Crowley: Aziraphale's valentine to me in 2018 said: "I really really love you as a friend". The young "no homo".
Adam: Mhm, back when we were all less gay. Or when Aziraphale was an unconscious gay.
Crowley: I think he was fairly conscious.
Aziraphale: I love you all so much it HURTSSS
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Incorrect Good Omens Quotes
RandomRankings: 2 in #adamyoung on 10/15/2019 6 in #anthonyjcrowley on 9/30/2019 9 in #beelzebub on 10/31/2019 40 in #goodomens on 9/30/2019 Incorrect quotes inspired by Good Omens! Every quote is something someone said that I know personally unless other...
