Every Last Piece

epilogue

A year and a half later

ONE THING I LOVE about New York City is the sense of togetherness a bunch of strangers can feel, all cramped into one small coffee bar. I'm a nobody in this city—and yet, this is my first live show in front of a real audience, and we have almost a full house.

One of my professors from the music program at NYU sits up front with his family. Behind him is a sea of round tables with unfamiliar, but friendly faces; mostly kids my age, but there are some older folks too. Mom, Colleen, Nolan, Matias, and Val are at the very back. I've just sat on the stool on the stage, surrounded by backlights and a sign printed with my name. The bartender introduced me as local talent, but I still haven't talked. I'm nervous. And not everyone is here yet.

The door at the back opens and allows the nighttime city air into the coffee-saturated bar. A tall silhouette wearing a hoodie walks in, head bowed.

Carson.

Even through the hazy lights, I can make out his form; strong and postured, with more weight on him than I've ever seen. He looks healthy. Like he could run a marathon and lift weights all day. I haven't seen him in person in over a year—but I bet they're kicking his ass at that fire academy.

After Carson got clean, he stayed in Chicago and finished high school. Something must've inspired him, because during one of our many FaceTimes, he'd told me he was thinking about going to school to become a fireman after all. Said the job pays well, and he figured he'd be good at it. Once he finishes up, he's planning to move here and be with me. But this is our first time finally getting to see each other in real life since that day at the train station.

I wave at him. Smiling—all dimples—he waves back, before Nolan calls him over to their table. I watch, my heart full as Mom hugs Carson and they all sit down together.

The audience stares at me with expecting eyes.

"Go Jill!" Val shouts. "Woo!"

Laughter echoes over the crowd, and I blush. Guess that's my cue to start playing. Being real: my stage presence needs work, but I'm trying not to be so shy. I smooth my fingers along the strings of my guitar, before I tell everyone my name, and that I came from a town no one's ever heard of.

For my first real show, it goes pretty smooth. When I get nervous, I just picture myself singing alone, back in my room in Hull. But believe me, when I open my eyes and see the room full of smiling faces, I'm happy to be somewhere new.

Before I know it, I've played all my songs. And the audience claps and cheers. A rush of euphoria sizzles through my veins.

This'll be the first of many.

After the show, all I want is to run at Carson, but of course Mom traps me in a hug first. I catch Carson's eyes over her shoulder, before Nolan gets at me next, then Val, then Colleen. I thank them as graciously as I can, but can't hide the nerves in my belly. Eventually they get it, because they back off and sit at their table while Carson and I head toward the corner of the room for some privacy.

I always pictured myself jumping at him when I saw him again, but it's not like that. A bubbling excitement hangs in the air, mixed with just a tad of awkwardness. Still, we both can't wipe the smiles off our faces.

"Hey," I say and take a step closer to him.

He takes one too. "Hey."

"You look really good."

"Are you kidding?" Carson laughs. "You should see yourself."

All those old butterflies come back, stronger than ever before. Because this is who I always knew Carson could be. The excitement builds.

"So New York, huh?" I say. "What do you think?"

He looks around at the décor and grins. "Took me forever to find this place, and the flight was pretty long, but I figured it out." He pauses and searches my face. "For real, it's amazing, Jill. I'm happy for you."

"You too. Next time, I'll come visit you in Lexington. Planes aren't that expensive." 

Back at the table, Colleen cackles, and Mom looks pissed off—she probably said something inappropriate, because being real: booze or not, Colleen will always be Colleen.

Still, I can't help but smile. I reach out and interlock my fingers with Carson's.

"We'll meet them back at my place," I tell him. "Let's get out of here."

With Carson here, everything is in place. Sure, things aren't totally normal or picture-perfect, but somewhere along the line, I stopped wishing for that Hallmark crap anyway. I stopped wishing Colleen had never drank, and stopped dreaming of an alternate world where my dad was good and never left. That's not how things worked out, and that's okay. Because the ones who matter are still here. The ones who matter are the ones who stick around.

My family will always be broken. But because I love them, I'll pick up every last piece.

THE END

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A/N: Thank you for reading EVERY LAST PIECE. This was the newer version of a story I originally started in 2018 and finished in 2019. It's 2023 now, and I decided to share the story here again. 

Thank you for reading this little piece of my heart! <3