The Spectator

Chapter 24: No Boys Allowed

     Ella slept fitfully, exhausted as she was. But she slept. The buzzing of her phone woke her up.

     "Hello?" She answered groggily, sitting up in bed.

    "Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling?"

     "S?" Ella asked. Realization dawned on her. "Wait, did Nate ask you to check up on me?"

     "He said he texted you, but he's been in meetings all day. So I'm on Ella duty right now," Serena laughed. "Rough morning, huh?"

     "God, you have no idea," Ella put her on speaker and started scrolling through her messages. Two from Nate (Spectator), one from this morning right after she'd zonked out:

     Made it home ok?

     And another from only a half hour ago:

      Just letting you know, I told S to check up on you. Stayed strong and didn't give her details, tho, don't worry.

     "What happened?" Serena asked, right on cue. Ella smiled at the messages. She appreciated that he hadn't gone blabbing about her dad to the non-judging breakfast club. Not that she was planning on keeping this a secret, but still. Having privacy as an option was nice.

     "...Was it something with Nate?" She followed up, encouraged by the silence on Ella's end.

     "What? No, nothing like that... uh, my dad is sick," Ella felt her stomach knot itself up, shedding the calm of sleep in exchange for the same anxiety she'd felt this morning. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "They went to the doctor on Thursday... it's lung cancer."

     "What?" Serena exclaimed. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, El... What are you doing tonight? You want to come over? We can talk or just watch movies..."

     "That would actually be really nice," Ella felt tears welling in her eyes. She didn't want to be alone. There was too much time to think.

     "Girls night it is! I'll send the car over for you in an hour?"

     "The- The car?" Ella sputtered. "I don't think--"

     "Good! See you in a little!" Serena hung up before Ella could start her usual protesting. Ella rolled her eyes. Upper east siders and their private chauffeurs...

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     Serena had bottles of rosé, a Wii playstation, and an assortment of chick flicks waiting for her when she got to the Humphrey residence. Dan was out visiting family. They cracked into the bottles first, then challenged each other to a duel at Guitar Hero. Ella hadn't played in years and Serena claimed she hadn't either-- but her rendition of Free Bird by Lynnrd Skynnrd was suspiciously good.

     They put on a movie afterwards-- Charade-- but the movie was soon forgotten as they kept sipping their rosé, having a chat.

     "I used to do this all the time with B," Serena said wistfully. "Still do sometimes, but she's got Henry now so it's hard hanging out like we used to..."

     "Kids, man. Not just for show after all," Ella sighed. "You think you'll have any?"

     "Maybe in a few years," She shrugged. "Dan and I have discussed it and we want to enjoy being together just the two of us for a while. You can't just pick up and go on a trip with kids, you know? Blair's a great mom and seeing her with Henry gives me baby fever sometimes but... not yet. I feel too young for it. What about you? You want kids at some point?"

     Ella twisted her mouth. "Yes, I do. But I feel kind of the same way about it-- I don't want them before I'm ready for the responsibility, I... I've seen what it's like when people jump into things and have kids when they're still kids themselves. It's not a good time for anybody."

     "I'm going to assume you and your parents have some issues," S observed with a wry smile. Ella chuckled a little into her glass.

     "My dad has a highly addictive personality and my mother is a chronic enabler," She looked at her glass of wine with a raise of her eyebrow. "It's kind of funny that I'm drinking right now talking about it."

     Serena snorted. "Moderation is key, El. A little alcohol is fun-- too much is life-wrecking. Take it from me, someone who didn't know the meaning of taking things slow for the majority of my life. Balance is possible."

     "I tried so many times to just get him to cut back a little on the cigarettes and the boozing and the gambling, but he's a one-taste-and-he-can't-stop kind of person," El sighed. "Sometimes I'm afraid I'm going to end up like him."

     Serena frowned at her. "I don't think so... I've never seen someone who has their shit together the way you do. Except Blair. But her neuroses is her addiction, so..."

     Ella laughed a little at that.

      "I don't know. Everyone tells me we have the same sense of humor, my dad and me. I catch myself making jokes like he would sometimes and it just... I love him, but I don't want to be like him," she shook her head emphatically.

     "El, I get you but... and don't hurt me for saying this... your father is hilarious. He showed us a good time when we went by your place in Miami. I'm not telling you to let him off the hook for all the history you guys have, but I don't think you should blind yourself to some of his good qualities, especially now..." Serena trailed off. "My mom had cancer for a while there, you know."

     Ella turned to her, wide-eyed. "Really? I'm so sorry, S."

     "Don't be, It actually turned out to be a ploy by my father to insert himself in our lives again," Serena assured her. Ella frowned in confusion.

     "Your father... gave your mother cancer?"

     "Gave her medication to induce the symptoms of cancer," She corrected.

     "Right... And all of this was to get back in her good graces?" Ella raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, I don't see the logic."

     "Logic?" Serena threw her head back and laughed. "Logic has no place in Upper East Side drama. Didn't you read Gossip Girl back in the day?"

     "For a couple of years there, yeah... I'll be honest, the drama just got a little too ridiculous for me after a while," Ella admitted.

     "Well, if it was hard for you to read, imagine living with all that bullshit," Serena rolled her eyes. "It was just scandal after scandal for years. To be fair, though, it was mostly our own fault. We were a bunch of kids who didn't know what the fuck we were doing and our parents usually weren't much better."

     "I'm going to assume you have some issues with your parents..." Ella quoted with a little smile.

     "Understatement of the year," S laughed. She sobered a little and turned to the petite woman next to her. "Have you been keeping contact with your family?"

     "I've been calling every day..."

     "You should set up regular Skype dates with your parents. Trust me, no matter how much they bother you, you're going to be eaten alive by guilt if something happens and you weren't spending time with them."

     "That's... true. Ugh, my dad is going to give me so much shit, but whatever. This will be a test of my patience," Ella spoke into her glass before taking the last swig. "You got any more of this?"

    "What do you think?" S stood up from the couch.

     "I'm thinking we're about to get trashed," Ella laughed.