Sebastián

n i n e t e e n

Ever since the incident I've been on 24/7 suicide watch. It was almost suffocation but I knew that Sebastián was just trying to keep me safe. It had been over three weeks since that happened, I'm fine now, sleeping more, all healed, healthier but there was still something off. I hadn't talked about what happened with anyone in the palace, and I think everyone was afraid to bring it up. If it was okay to talk about it, or if it was a scandal, something to be kept secret, the palace couldn't have people thinking they were going to have a queen that is slightly unstable. It makes sense. It makes everyone uncomfortable to talk about mental health, a norm that I'm used to. 

I had mostly been keeping to my room, by myself. I had no idea what was going on in the world around me, current events, anything like that. 

But I was getting better, that was the most important part, at least to me. And Sebastián too, he had been working a lot less, spending a lot more time with me, checking up on me. I was worried about him too though, he has to be a leader, he has to put others before him and others before me. 

"Sebastián, I'm fine, you don't need to worry about me" I plead. We were both sitting on our bed, Sebastián watching my hands stitch patterns on a shirt of his, a hobby I had picked up recently. It took up a lot of time and kept me occupied plus I really enjoyed it. 

"You know I'll worry no matter what Cristine" He sighs. I could tell this whole thing really took a toll on him. I would feel the same if the roles were reversed, I can't even imagine how hard it must've been to find me like that, not knowing if I would make it. 

"You need to start taking care of yourself" My hand reaches his face to feel his prickly stubble, he hadn't shaved in days and the circles under his eyes were dark and prominent. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. I could tell my touch calmed him down significantly. 

"I know but there's just a lot going on right now" He pulls away from me and rubs his temples. I frown.

"What's up?" It wasn't a common thing for Sebastián to talk about his problems, he always changed the subject to ask how I was. 

"Just politics things like that, trying to track down this Liam asshole" He huffs. My heart beats a little faster when he says that name. 

"Liam?" I ask and he nods. "I didn't know that"

"Well ever since that letter I've been trying to track him down but I don't really have much to go off of." He huffs. "Like a first name, that's literally all I have."

"Well, I can help, I mean I did date him" I state. A flicker of anger quickly flashes in Sebastián's eyes but he quickly regains his composure.

"Ok well, I need a last name to start off with" I nod. "I also wanna know what went on between you two, if that's okay..." His eyes become softer. I'm a lot less scared now, I didn't want to hide things from the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. 

"His name is Liam Thomas, we met in high school when I went for like a semester." He nods, listening attentively. "We dated, he pursued me the first day I got to school, I only really knew my friend Bralee, who I lived with, so I was appreciative of any kind of social interaction"

"Is Bralee the girl who owns the house you stayed at when you ran away?" I nod, kind of embarrassed of the memory.

"Yeah I lived with her and her mom" I confirm. "Liam was really charismatic too, it wasn't hard for him to get me to completely fall for him" I realized this was probably as hard for Sebastián to listen to as it is for me to tell the story. "About a month into the relationship his whole demeanor changed. He was very possessive and very aggressive, he hit me and he beat me up. Sometimes he tried to get me to live at his place because it was like he needed to keep a constant watch and have full control of me." He listens with a clenched jaw.

"Then what happened, why is he trying to find you?" He asks, anxious to hear the rest of the story. 

"I-I...he got me pregnant" I could feel my whole body trembling. The only person who knew about this was Bralee. I look up to Sebastián, bracing myself for his wrath. His leg bonces and his fists are tightly clenched. "I ran as far away as possible. I had heard from someone that he had gotten arrested, cops found a shit ton of coke on him" I take a breath. "I had the baby, she was born too early and she didn't make it...Isabella...that's what I named her." I didn't realize I was crying until I feel a tear making its way down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away. "He probably has been trying to track me down since he got of jail...that's my guess"

"Cristina..." He whispers in a soft voice. He wraps his arms around me, letting me sob to my heart's content. After a while, I calmed down a bit. "I'll find him, I promise, he won't ever hurt you again okay?" He tilts my chin up gently, forcing me to look at him. His eyes were soft and sincere, I felt safe. I felt how strong the mate bond is right then and there. I trusted him with my life, he didn't even have to do or say anything, the feeling was overwhelming but comforting. I knew I would stay by his side for the rest of my life. We had a rocky start but now...it's getting a lot better.

It's going to get better Cristine, it's going to get better.

A/N

Hello, where have I been amirite? 

I sorta went on a hiatus...for a while...my life has been really hectic and I lost inspiration for this book for a bit but I'm hoping to get back on track. I can't make any promises but I will try to update consistently, I genuinely want to finish this book. I'm sorry this was a really bad chapter.

Thank you for your patience and support <3