Moments and Impacts

Moments of Bliss

Moments of Bliss

Something is wrong with me. I realize that the second I wake up. I can't think of anything before freshman year. I remember the day that I met Genesis, I remember all the days that I sat behind her in english class, but everything before that is gone.

"Hi," I turn my head the best that I can in it's cast and see my brother sitting beside me in a wooden chair lined with white cushions. He looks exactly like I remember, but I can't remember him when he ten and I was five. I don't remember ever talking to him before we came to this small town.

"What happened?" my voice is sore and scratch, and I ask, "Do you have water?"

He nods his head quickly, taking his feet off of my bed and reaching into his backpack. Pulling out a water bottle with the hospital's name on it, he hands it to me, "You got into a car crash. A hit and run."

There's only one person on my mind though, "Genesis?" I ask. If she died, I don't know what I would do. She's my everything, and if I knew that she died when I was behind the wheel I would die.

"She woke up yesterday afternoon," his voice is concealed and I know that he's hiding something from me.

After I take a swing of the water, because my throat can't take much more talking without putting something down it, I ask, "What's wrong?" he runs a hand through his hair, ruffling it up, something he does when he doesn't want to say something or do something, "Grayson?" my voice rises a pitch or two as fear of what is wrong with Genesis envelops me, "Grayson, what's wrong? What happened to Genesis?"

He signs and doesn't meet my eyes, "The doctors told us not to tell you anything. We're not suppose to stress you out."

"Grayson," tears are blurring my vision in fear, "what happened to her? Please, please tell me."

He mumbles something that I don't quite catch and I have to ask him to speak louder. When he finally does, I wish that he hadn't told me, "She doesn't remember any of us," my heart shatters into a thousand pieces. I ask him if she remembers me and he says, "I went to go see her last night. She didn't even know who I was. When I told her who I was she just asked me if I was related to the boy who sat behind her in english class."

I didn't think my heart could shatter anymore than it already had, but it seems like all the tiny little pieces that were the remains of my heart broke into just as many pieces.

"She doesn't?" my voice breaks and I can't finish my sentence. Deep breaths I say silently to myself That's what the therapist said, right? After taking multiple deep breaths I ask again, "She doesn't remember me?"

"Not exactly," he says and takes the water bottle from me when I just start chugging it's contents down, "I mean, she remembers you, but she doesn't remember you. Does that makes sense?" I shake my head, "It's just-" he stops and runs his hands through his hair again, "she remembers you as the Brently Laker who sits behind her in English. She doesn't remember the Brently Laker who is in love with her, and who she loves."

I laugh. I actually laugh at the ridiculous words coming out his mouth. It's not possible. She can't forget me just as I can't forget her. That's just now how this works, we are suppose to remember each other forever. Be with each other forever.

"That's funny Grayson."

His sad face makes me sober up a little bit, but it's his words that do the trick, "She's been asking where Colston is, Brent. She doesn't even remember what happened between them. And she's been asking for Malachi, and her mother," my heart goes out for her when I hear that she's been asking for her brother and mom, "I think Kendra is flying out tonight," he says referring to Genesis' mother, "I guess she wanted to bring Wesley along, but the doctors told her it might be too much for her."

I nod and lean back in my bed again. The pillows are soft, they almost puff around my face when I set my head on them, and the blankets are a bit scratch, but the bed is comfy. I sigh and close my eyes, just wanting to escape, or maybe wake up from this crazy dream.

The next thing that I know a doctor and a nurse stand at the foot of my bed. They give me solemn looks that scream at me that I'm fragile and a breath away from breaking into a million pieces.

But my priority isn't me, "How is she?" I ask and they both look at each other with a sad look on their face. Worry wraps it's cold arms around me and I struggle to sit myself up, the nurse walks to my side and tries to push me back down, but I don't care right now and I shove his hand away, "What happened to her?" I demand, my voice rising.

Grayson isn't in my room anymore, delivering his calming presence, although he's never been able to receive any of the calm he gives off, so my anger rises and I scream at them to tell me what happened to her.

"She's gone back into surgery," the doctor says. My heart stops, and the words My Fault flash in front of my eyes. The doctor must see my heart broken look and explains, "She will be fine, she just has a little bit a brain injury and we are trying to see what we can do to fix it," he says loud enough for me to hear, but adds quietly, "If there is anything that we can do."

"I want to go see her," I demand and swing my leg over side of bed, before it's stops and drops to the floor like a heavy weight. The hideous white cast is wrapped tightly around my leg, so much so that I didn't even feel it until I saw it.

"I'm sorry," the nurse says, and he and the doctor run up beside me and push me, more forcefully this time, back down on to the bed, "but we must insist that you stay in bed. You are not well enough to get out yet."

"I don't care!" I yell and try to push their arms away, "I don't care about anything that you have to say."

Nurses come rushing into the room to help my first nurse and doctor get me back on my bed.

"I don't remember anything before her, and I'm not losing her now!" I scream and thrash against the hold of the people holding me down, "Please?" I ask. All the fight goes out of me as my world comes crashing down around me. My neck itches to be freed of it's brace so I can move completely, but it's just another restraint tied onto me. Tears start to slowly drip down my face, "Please, I need to see her. I can't remember anything before I met her. And I can't lose her too. Please?"

Somebody hands the doctor a needle. He swipes a wet cloth over a part on my upper and whispers to me, "This is a sleeping agent. It will put you to sleep for a couple of hours while we run some tests on you. We will see how she is doing after her surgery, and maybe we will bring you over there."

The needle pokes into my arm with a slight sting, one which I flinch away from, and he pushes the plunger down. I can almost feel the liquid spreading throughout my veins, and plucking at me to make me fall asleep. And then I'm immersed in a sudden moment of bliss.