Moments and Impacts

Impacts of Remembering

Impacts of Remembering

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," I chant into the phone. It's an old crappy phone that looks like it belongs in the eighties. When I first saw I was scared that when I picked it up it would turn to dust in my hand.

The boy outside, Druce he said his name was, was still waiting out in the little room outside. His words kept bouncing around in my head as I waited.

Everybody wants to be beautiful. But they'll never succeeded it, because they aren't chasing beauty, they're chasing pretty.

I don't get the chance to ponder over these words, because right when I'm about to, he picks up, "Who is this, and why are you calling me?" he demands.

I giggle just a little bit, "Colston, relax. It's me, Genesis," I say. I push a stray piece of hair that's falling over my scars back on the other side of my head.

"And I ask again," he says his voice cold, "why are you calling me?"

If I wasn't sitting I think I would have fallen down at the pure harshness of his words. I know that we aren't dating anymore, I kind of connected the dots after Brently told me we had been dating during the time of the car crash, but I didn't expect the meanness of his words.

"I just want to talk, Colston. Please, I have visiting hours from ten to four every day. I'm just trying to make sense of everything that's happened in the last three years, and I know that you'll be someone who can do that," I'm trying my best to keep my voice steady, not tearing at every word, or making me sound like a stuttering buffon, but I can't help but think that I fail at it.

He sighs, "I'll come tomorrow, but I'm only staying for an hour."

It's my turn to sigh now, but where his was one of resignation and a tinge of pity, mine is filled with pure relief, "Thank you Colston. I'll see you tomorrow."

We both say our goodbyes before he hangs up and I'm just sitting in the phone room like by myself.

After about a minute or two I stand up and leave my little section.

"Genesis?" I recognize Brently's voice before I even see him sitting in one of the little plastic chairs on the wall.

"Oh, hey Brently," I give him a smile, although that's not much work because I'm already grinning, "You calling your brother or something?"

He gets up from his seat and rushes over to me, making sure that nobody else will take the room before he gets to it.

"Yet," he looks around at the people behind him and places his hand on the doorknob, practically claiming the room as his. For a second he eyes me like he's trying to gauge what my reaction would be if he asked me some question. When he decides the it would be okay for the question to be asked he says, "You want to come in with me? I'm sure they'll love to hear from you."

I don't even think about it before I'm nodding my head and being ushered into the room that I just existed a minute before by Brently.

There's only one chair in the small room, because there is really suppose to be only one person in the room at a time for fear that kids will take advantage of the someone else and make multiple calls, and I'm just about to lean up against the wall so he can sit down in it when he pulls it out and ushers me into it.

"You need it more than me," when I don't immediately walk over to it he grabs my wrist and pulls me down into it, "Genesis, really, just standing there I can see you getting tired. Do you even know that you can put your life ahead of everybody elses every once and a while?"

I try to give him my best smile, "I grew up with Malachi," I whisper and it's taking everything inside of me to not cry, "I was never first priority, even to myself."