The Girl Next Door

11.

I wanted to see Gisella as soon as I got home but I didn't see her motorcycle or her moms car in the driveway. The lights were off in the house.
I went upstairs to my room and closed the door behind me. It was silent in the house. The only thing besides my thoughts that kept me company was the howling wind outside. Frost was forming on the outside of my window even though I was warm and snug in bed.
Before pulling out my sketch pad, I opened my blinds and pulled back the curtains so Gisella could see I was home whenever she got back. I wanted her to come over.
An hour into sketching blindly, Ben called me. He was playing his video game and "wanted to see what I was doing". I sighed, wishing I had let it go to voicemail and pushed the sketchbook to the side.
"I'm just drawing...nothing spectacular."
"That's cool. So did you give it any thought? I know it's soon but I really like you." Ben said and then the phone got quiet. I was hoping my phone died and I could avoid the question and the whole conversation. I glanced down at the drawing because I couldn't tell if it was Gisella on the paper or...Gisella. The closer I looked, I could see that it definitely was Gisella.
"Hello?"
"Oh sorry, my dad just got home. I'll call you right back." I hung up quickly and turned my phone off. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to Ben about being his girlfriend.
It was almost 8pm and I was lost, reading a book when the doorbell rung. My heart was hammering loudly in my chest as I ran down the stairs. When I got to the door, butterflies released themselves into my stomach.
"Bonjour, Stacy." Gisella greeted me as soon as I opened the door. I smiled bashfully and stepped to the side so she could come in. She brought the smell of cotton candy with her.
"It's snowing." She pointed out the obvious and pouted.
"Well we do live in Alaska."
"I have never seen it before except on TV. It is too cold." She complained as we walked upstairs to my room. I laughed but agreed with her. It was way too cold outside. I kept my eyes away from the way Gisella filled out the black sweatpants she wore. She tossed her leather jacket onto my bed and sat down next to my sketchbook, exposing her smooth caramel arms.
"So Benny told me he asked you out." Gisella said with a big smile on her face. She wiggled her eyebrows before her eyes fell onto the sketchbook. I've never blushed so fast or so badly in my life.
"Stacy?"
"Mmm?" I covered my face with my hands. This was so embarrassing.
"Did you say yes to Benny?"
"I haven't said anything. I don't want to talk about Ben." I was a little annoyed that he kept getting brought up. I've been dying to see and talk to Gisella, not just to talk about Ben. We didn't have to talk about him at all.
"What do you want to talk about mon amour?"
"I don't know. Anything but Ben, I guess..."
"Stacy, if you like Benny, it's okay." She leaned back with her hands interlocked behind her head. ""Let's see...Tell me something your dad doesn't know about you that would make him mad." She had a satisfied grin on her face. Her question made me think for a few long minutes.
"Hmmm. He would be mad if he knew...that I want to be a tattoo artist. He'd be so pissed."
"Really? Why??" Gisella's eyes were wide and alert. She looked eager to hear me talk. I sat with my back leaned up against the wall closest to the window.
"I don't know, he associates tattoos with 'bad people' I guess. And he wants me to go to college for something nonart related."
"I think you should go for it, mon amour." Gisella encouraged with hope in her eyes. It was so cute.
"Yeah, maybe. I don't know. You answer the same question." I watched Gisella rub her hands thru her hair once she took the black hat she was wearing off.
"Hmm. My mother would be outraged with me if she knew I am attracted to girls."
"What?"
"Oui, mi amour. She wouldn't understand." Gisella mistook my shock as me being confused. It felt like hundreds of questions filled my head.
"Have you...do you have a girlfriend?"
"Why do you look so surprised Stacy?" Gisella glanced outside before bringing her pretty blue and gray eyes back onto me.
"No...I just didn't expect...that. Now it makes sense why you didn't want Ben. Have you ever been into boys? Sorry I'm asking so many questions."
"It is okay love, I don't mind. I had a boyfriend once."
"What happened?" I was so curious. More now than before I learned about Gisella's sexuality.
"I thought I loved him and I thought he loved me. We were serious even though we were only sophomores. And then I met a woman who showed me...a lot." Gisella looked past me but stared at the wall with a blank look on her face. I could tell she was mentally and maybe physically remembering whoever the woman she met was.
"And then what happened?" I was past curious. I felt like I needed to know everything she wasn't telling me.
"Eh, I moved to Alaska."
"So you've had a girlfriend the whole time I've known you?" A super small part of me felt jealousy creeping up the back of my neck. Maybe it was bigger than super small but I was able to ignore the feeling in my gut.
"No, she's focusing on her marriage."
I was stunned and at a loss for words. Gisella had my mouth hanging wide open. I didn't know what to say. But I wanted to say something. If I didn't want to be Ben's girlfriend before, I definitely didn't want to now. Not with the way my heart skipped a beat when Gisella and I met each other's gaze.
"Oh." Was all I could say...