lost ~~c.h.~~

three

Hello again. It's a surprise that i'm alive right? Same to me. There's only a few reasons why. 1) Perrie, I couldn't leave her, 2) I really like this boy, I know that's a stupid reason, but there's something that's keeping me here, and 3) I tried before, but I'm not brave enough to. Yes, I try to all the time and I already cut and skip meals so why would you leave me in this world by myself, all alone, to be hurting myself, trying to escape from reality. (END OF DIARY)

As I walk into the classroom, there's one set of eyes that I never want them to look away, Calum Hood. 

His tanned skin. His black/dark brown hair with blonde. He looks Asian, but I heard he's not. He's perfect. Especially with that smirk on his face. Then he looks away. Great, he doesn't like me like everybody else. If you had to describe what kind of  "social group' I'm in , its easy... kinda. I'm that kid that school comes easily to her, but doesn't say anything. Shes the one that no one has ever heard her talk before. I'm the one when the teachers say partner up, always sits in the back alone, so at least I know when people are looking at me. When the teacher calls on me, I say my words so fast and quiet that no one can ever understand me. I'm a outcast. Some people say that their outcasts, like seriously? Do you even know what an outcast is? Probably not. I guess people assume that none of this matters to me... when really I have scars on my wrists, legs, and stomach. 

I'm just waiting till I get the courage to just take the razor and cut my neck open open so I bleed so much, I die. Or when I get skinny enough. Or when the two sleeping pills work. 

"Leah?"

"Yeah? Sorry can you repeat that please?'' I say so fast and quietly.

''Can you and Calum do me a favor by bringing down these projects down to the extra room?", she looks at me. I look back at her then at Calum. Calum is smiling so big. 

"Okay..."

Lets hope this turns out okay. 

___________________________________________________

Sorry i notice now that this chapter isnt very long but idcccc there will be more chapters up asap but i have been behind in school so i dont really have time to type but i promise I will do another chapter soooon. 

love you guys!!!!!