lost ~~c.h.~~

four

Hi... Why do people worry about oter people? It's like worrying about them will do or help anything. Do you really think that I'm pretty? I don't. Whats the point? I know I'm ugly. Lies are being told to me when my friends or family say that I'm pretty or gorgeous or perfect.All are lies. They're only saying them 'cuz they feel bad. Only one out of so many people know the real me. I wonder if people know I cut. I wonder if people know that I starve myself because I'm fat. I wonder if peopleknow anything about me. Maybe my big baggy long clothes give it away. Maybe. I wish everything was different. Likeinstead of me being born, someone else was born, or that my parents stayed togethe, because the stress of everything is the worst. Maybe I was born to be depressed and alone. (end of diary entry)

Lets hope this turns out okay.

Before I walk out of the room with Calum, I grab my phone and headphones out of my bag. I didn't want things to be that awkward, because he is the love of my life. We both walked out of the noisey room, into the quiet hallway.

"How are you?", he asks startling me, not knowing that he was actually going to talk to me.

"Um....good... I guess", my awkward self made that horrible.. My cheeks lit up whe he turns his head and smiles at me.

"Your really pretty, yah know." He looks at me and smiles aain. Why would he think I'm pretty? I'm ugly, a nerd, and a deressed anorexic cutting freak. I just hope he doesn't gt stuck in this and make me break down my walls. The walls that only one person broke down. The walls I wanted to keep up forever.

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HI guys!!!! sooo this is a small chapter. Just a fillerrr

but yeahhh there might be a double update tonight!

Sorry i havent updated in a whilleee