needy ; jack gilinsky

4

the goal was reached so here you go!

amara rahman

after dinner, which we'd all agreed that it was incredibly dissatisfying, we pile up in the limo once again. i decided to sit beside bri and nate.

"who's the smartass that suggested this restaurant?" nate provokes, eyeing everyone. johnson looks down, and we let out a laugh while nate shakes his head knowingly.

jack had been sitting somewhat alone, and i began feeling bad. though, after a minute, he shifted beside derek and carrie. i met his eyes with minimal contact, feeling the ache of my heart every time i'd done so.

we hadn't spoke much at the restaurant, though his hand held mine for a good five minutes before pulling away. i had instantly missed the warmth his grip had provided, and all i'd wished was that everything had been okay. because if it were, his hand would have still been holding mine. and we wouldn't be sitting away from each other in the car.

the moment we'd all stepped inside school, i'd spotted meredith and sam talking amongst themselves.

it wasn't exactly a surprise that sam had distanced from the group, considering the amount of times he'd bring meredith up in front of me. it was obvious he hadn't liked me, and i'd be lying if i said it didn't bother me.

meredith gives me an amused glance, before eyeing jack. i let her, since he'd already been staring at her anyways.

bri sighs beside me, signaling that she'd been watching the same thing as me. i felt useless, hopeless, and out of place. not to mention, i was ready to word vomit right in jack's face.

"i'm gonna go to the bathroom," i murmur, leaving his side to dive further into the group of people, only to find my way to the bathroom.

i stop at the mirror in front of the sinks, drowning out the voices of the freshmen behind me and focusing on myself and the pace of my breaths. i inhale deeply, then hold.

carrie strolls in, and i blink away my tears. "hey." she says casually, setting down her purse and taking out an eyelash curler.

"hi." i reply, meeting my eyes in the reflection.

i assumed she'd looked over at me, because she had frowned. "you okay?"

"i'm alright."

"is it about jack?" she asks curiously.

"yeah." i admit, adjusting my dress to distract myself.

"can i be honest?"

"sure."

"i know we've barely talked, but i think you guys are a really cute couple." she says. "like, in the beginning of the year. from an outsiders perspective, and i think a lot of people at school can back me up, it seems like you're both unhappy."

"yeah." i repeat, unsure of what to say, or why she'd even be telling me this.

"he was just talking to meredith." she mentions.

i didn't want to be that person, but i decided to be anyway. "what were they talking about?"

"um," she glances up in thought, before looking at me through the mirror. "she said he looked good, and he said she looked pretty."

the freshmen had left the bathroom, leaving us and my thoughts in silence. i hold my stare with myself for a few more seconds, my vision becoming blurry. "oh."

"yeah." she says. "i wouldn't look too much into it, if i were you. looks like she was being pushy, and he was trying to be polite."

i appreciated her optimism. but she was right before; she doesn't know me, she doesn't know our relationship. she hadn't known the things he'd said to meredith this summer that i had to find out by going behind his back.