needy ; jack gilinsky

18

trigger warning: topics that are pregnancy-related. please don't read if you're sensitive 🥺.

amara rahman

the next day at school felt cloudy inside of my mind. i'd been unable to remember anything from my classes after five minutes, living inside of my head for the dreaded seven hours of hell.

"i'm so glad you're feeling better." bri tells me after our last period of the day, placing her things into her locker. "you've been off, i could tell."

"i'm fine." i tell her with a nod, before feeling a presence approach us.

immediately, i felt eyes on us as jack had stepped towards me, "hey."

"hey." i say, meeting bri's confused stare.

"i've got that club thing, so i guess i'll go." she tells me. "i'll see you guys at nate's later."

i nod with a small smile, waving slightly. she turns on her heel to walk off, leaving the two of us.

jack surprises me with a hug, squeezing tightly. hesitantly, i wrap my arms around him, settling my face over his shoulder. "you ready?" he asks me.

i pull away slightly, looking into his eyes with uncertainty. "i'm scared as fuck."

"just breathe." he says. "i'm there with you. nobody will know."

he helps me get myself together, and i offer to carry his gym bag as his crutch had taken the spot.

placing the bag into his trunk, i'd accidentally caught meredith's gaze, who'd stood with sammy near his car. they had practically been staring into my soul, and i'd looked away a second later to head towards the passenger side.

"are you sure you can drive?" i ask him with a frown, watching as he struggles to place the crutch in his backseat.

"i only need one foot to drive." he argues, "i'll be fine."

the ride to the hospital had been a quiet one. though the comfortable silence birthed last night had carried with us into today, something i was grateful for.

sitting in the waiting room was more dreadful than i anticipated, though that was before i had experienced waiting for the test results.

once the doctor slips back into the room, i felt jack's hand grip mine. "hi, miss rahman." the woman greets, glancing at her clipboard. "i have your results."

i watch as she grabs a chair to sit in front of me, placing the board down on a nearby counter. "the pregnancy tests weren't wrong; you were pregnant. however, you've suffered a miscarriage. have you had any vaginal bleeding?"

i'd barely registered her question, my mouth drying and my chest faltering. i refrain from holding onto it for too long, looking back at her. "um, no, i haven't."

her expression had softened, "you were in the very early stage of pregnancy. and since you haven't been experiencing any sort of bleeding, i don't believe a dilation and curettage is necessary. however, if you do begin to have nonstop bleeding, please come back immediately."

she'd went on about possible therapy options if i'd needed it, but i struggled to listen for the rest of the time.

before i knew it, we'd been back in jack's car, where the silence almost ate me alive. "amara," he murmurs. "are you alright?"

"i miscarried." i state, sitting back on the seat. "i was pregnant, and i miscarried."

"i can't believe you kept all of this to yourself for weeks." he says. "i can't even imagine how you feel right now."