The Magic Circle

The Girls

I sat on my bed in my room as I debated on which outfit I'd like to wear that day. Most days I rarely planned what to do, but today was special, today was Halloween. Though I hadn't gone trick or treating years my best and I always planned to do something. Last year it was a Harry Potter marathon, this year Halloween movie marathon. I had first pick since I was the guest. I couldn't wait, though I had to keep it PG, I knew neither of us would be sleeping if I picked something outrageously gross or terrifying. 
"Tammie! C'mon, you're gonna be late" my mom called up, I rolled my eyes, how could you be late for something you didn't have a specific time for?
"Yeah, I'll be right down..." I told her as I decided on my typical wear, grey leggings, black boots and an oversized long sleeve pink shirt. I braided my hair and threw my jacket over my shoulder and headed for the stairs.
"Please tell me you packed an overnight bag already?" Mom asked looking half annoyed and half hopeful.
"Of course I did, relax" I said with a wave of the hand, going over to the entry table to check out the candy.
"Don't touch that, it's for the kids!" Again I rolled my eyes, every year mom put out candy, even though she said she hated Halloween. Not that I blamed her, my father died on Halloween when I was three. I don't remember much about him, just that him and my mom were happy and we made a nice little family. My mom admitted she wanted have more kids but since my father dying she hadn't found anyone worth it. I couldn't imagine what she meant by that.
"Are you sure you're okay with me going? I can stay home, I'm sure there's something good on Lifetime..." I half teased. She shooed me to the door but I heard her chuckle.
"I'll be fine, I'll call Maybelle or someone, we'll get pizza and wine" she insisted as I followed her to the car. I nodded and slide into the passanger's side, feeling even more guilted for some reason. "Hey listen, I know it's a sore subject but have you thought anymore about what I said back in July?" I cringed, I was hoping this conversation would never come up again, but here we were, and of course she brought it up the car where I couldn't escape.
"My response is the same as it was back then" I grunted as I looked out the window.
"It's a good job opportunity and I'm worried about your father's life insurance, he only had so much, I have to go back to working otherwise we'll starve" she explained, probably trying to invoke some sort of sympathy from me.
"That's okay, I'll starve" I responded. She heavy sighed and then turned up the music. I was annoyed with myself again, I knew this was an easy decision but it was just so hard. We had been talking about moving which meant different school, but it wasn't just a different school around here, it was a different school in a different state. I wasn't ready to leave here, I had lived her my entire life, in the boondocks of good ol' New York and now my mom wanted to pack it all up and move to Connecticut. Was was even in Connecticut? "You really can't find a job here?" I asked her. She didn't immediately respond, I still had no idea what type of job she was looking for, I just knew there were very options for it here. "It's nothing illegal is it?" I tried teasing but again, no immediate response.
"I just want to make sure you're okay and safe" she said.
"Yeah and you've mentioned moving since I was eleven, every years since then, 'why don't we move?' And every year we don't."
"I can't force you to leave Tammie, I want you to be happy too." I could feel her looking at me but I couldn't bring myself to look back at her. To my knowledge she loved working and before me she had an outstanding job, her and dad were bringing home a lot of money, and then it all fell apart. We moved to this small area and got a reasonable sized two bedroom, two bathroom house. Mom's charm easily won over most of the people in the area, but of course there was one or two members who wanted nothing to do with us. I tried to make friends but around here no one wants to be friends with the new girl who comes from money. No one wants to play with the girl who doesn't like making mud pies. No one likes the girl who's had caviar. Except Melinda. Not that she had ever had caviar, she thought the stuff was gross and I was a weirdo for liking it. We were five. And that was the beginning of our friendship.  As we grow up we mostly liked the same things, though she was little less straight forward than I was, but that was what balanced us out, we made for good friends who shared and common interests and brought to the table what the other was lacking. Leaving her would be like losing a sister. I couldn't move.
"You said you packed your overnight back right?" Mom asked, bringing me out of thought. I nodded, she had been asking that question all day. "And you brought extra clothes? Just in case?"
"Yes mother" I said with boredom.
"Good, good, always make sure you're fresh, you never know when—"
"You'll get hit by a car, yes, I know and I wish you'd stop saying that, it's so morbid...."
"But true"
"Mom!"
"Okay, okay, geez. Do you know what movie you're watching first?"
"Not yet" I said as the excitement kicked in as Melinda's house came into view. "Don't mention anything about moving to her parents please" I told her as she parked the car and made the motion of her lips being sealed.
I grabbed the bag and ran to the front door, knocking three times before the door opened, Melinda's mom smiling at us. "Hi Mrs. Sawyer!" I said politely as she hugged me and moved aside, letting us through. I dropped my stuff next to the door and ran up the stairs, waving at Melinda's brothers as I passed their room. "I'm here!" I shouted to Melinda who had been on her laptop, She didn't look up right up but I could see her smile forming into a big grin.
"You're so weird" she told me as I grinned back at her.
"And you wouldn't have it any other way" I reminded her as she laughed and motioned to the bed as she turned her chair around, closing the door with her foot.
"Is your mom still here?" I nodded, motioning to the door as we both fell silent long each to hear their voices downstairs. "They're talking?" Melinda asked in shock as I nodded. Just like Melinda and I were opposite our parents were opposite but apparently adults being of opposite personalities didn't work as well. They were nice to each other and nodded if they saw the other in the store, but neither went out of their way to be friends. Not even Melinda and I being friends for so long helped their friendship. Melinda said it probably had something to do with the fact that I was an only child and my mom a single work personality with high energy and involved in everything whereas Melinda's mom kept to the home taking care of her three kids, Melinda and her two younger brothers, Avery and Kyle and Melinda's father took care of the rest. My mom insisted it because of history, though I was never sure what history she was talking about since we didn't know Melinda and her family before moving here. She also frequently mentioned Melinda's grandfather being hateful toward different kinds of people. I always assumed she meant he was racist but she never expanded and I never asked. Melinda had no control over her grandparents so why make her feel bad about that? Melinda's dad was a local electrician and was out quite bit so I never really saw, him and when I did he gave a quick hello and disappeared in front of a tv or to bed. Again, my mother's reasoning his lack of interest in his daughter's friend unfounded by any examples.
"What do you think they're talking about?" Melinda asked.
"My mom will talk about anything today, it's the anniversary" I told her as she took a moment to reevaluate her expression. I didn't talk about my dad, hardly ever, I didn't really remember the man, so I never expected my small group of friends to remember the day he passed.
"I'm sorry." I shrugged, ready to move on, I was here for a night of movies, not to be sad.
"Do I still get to pick the first movie?"I asked.
"Yeah, but if you rather we talk about—"
"I'm fine and no, I don't wanna talk about it." Melinda nodded, knowing she couldn't push me to open, I dealt with things my own way.
"You know ignoring the problem doens't make it go away" she said quietly as I ignored her and went to her movie case, her collection of movies was huge. The sappy love stories only outweighed by the amount of Disney movies; regardless, she had me beat.
"Tammie, you're mom is leaving!" Mrs. Swayer called up. I grunted, I was trying to find a movie.
"Go on, maybe she won't give you big puppy dog eyes and make you feel bad."
"Yeah okay" I said sarcastically as I went downstairs. Mrs. Sawyer had ventured into the kitchen to finish doing whatever she had started, my mom stood just outside. "You sure you're gonna be okay?"  I asked as she nodded.
"You're so brave sweatheart" she said as I tried not to cringe.
"Mom..."
"No, I mean it, you deal with this pain every year and you handle it so well. And I get your reluctance to leave, but please know I mean well and there's always a bigger picture" she explained as I tried listening.
"I know, we'll talk about it when I get home" I told her.
"Mrs. Sawyer volunteered to drop you off. Her boys need haircuts for school pictures and the place they go to is just a ways pass our house." I raised an eyebrow.
"How did you convince her to do that?"
"She offered, and anyway, it works out, I have some stuff to do in the morning, so I might not be home when you get home" she said wrapping her arms around me.
"But it's pancake day!" I whined, Sunday was always mother-daughter pancake day. Last week we made them with gummie bears, tomorrow was supposed to be chocolate chips.
"I know, I'm sorry, but we can go one day without" she said, wiping invisible lint off my shirt.
"Behave and be respectful" she said as I laughed.
"I always am."
"I know, I'm just reminding you" she said pulling me in for another hug. "I love you" she said squeezing me as tight as she did every year on this day, maybe a bit more.
"I love you too mom, it's gonna be okay" I told her as she let go, pulling herself together and clearing her throat.
"I'll see you, have fun!" She said as I nodded and kissed her cheek.
"Be careful with the wine, no drunk phones calls please" I teased as she winked and started back toward the car. I looked after her, wondering why I suddenly felt some type of way about her leaving. I never really missed my mom when I was at Melinda's, we lived so close and I was never there for an extended time. But yet for some reason as I watched her start the car and drive away it just all suddenly felt, sad.
I shook the feeling, sensing someone was at the door watching. "What happened?" Melinda asked but I shook my head, hurrying back inside.
"Don't know, just got a weird feeling" she looked at me but didn't say anything, not that she had to, I knew that look meant 'do you wanna talk about it now?' "I'm fine, honestly" I told her as Mrs. Sawyer handed us each a small plate of assorted cookies, each one decorated in some Halloween theme. "Thank you" I told her as she tapped Melinda's arm.
"I'll be right up" Melinda said as I nodded, giving them some privacy.
When Melinda returned I was debating between Sleepy Hollow and The Nightmare Before Christmas. I knew which would be a winner but I still wanted to ask how Melinda even got a copy of Sleepy Hollow, everyone knew she didn't like the horror movie genre.  "Where did this come from?" I asked as soon as her foot stepped into the room."
"Do you remember Hayden?"
"Nope" I said thumbing through the rest of the movies.
"The one who likes the same stuff we do" I shook my head, though the name did sound familiar.
"Wait, is he the one who looks seven?" Melinda rolled her eyes but I could see her blushing.
"He's our age you know" she answered matter of factly. "He got the movie, mostly as a joke, knew I'd never watch it. I told him specifically about my hatred of horror movies." I started to open my mouth, I had so many questions. Wasn't that just a waste of money? Did Sleepy Hollow really count as a horror? What did Hayden look like again? I closed my mouth seeing Melinda's expression, she didn't mean for me try and logically understand the gesture; she just wanted me to me know Hayden had done something sweet, a romantic gesture. I figdetted, trying not to roll my eyes, if anything Melinda and I differed in it was what we expected out of boys. Nonetheless, I gave her a thumbs up and wide smile.
"We can watch it then" I said as I waved Sleepy Hollow in her face. She quickly took the other choice, ignoring me as I loudly laughed and we headed back downstairs to enjoy the big screen in the basement.