(POV) IT chapter two REDDIE ending 💖

chapter four

Eddie POV

I'm sitting in my hotelroom. Bags packed. Showered and freshened up. Ready to go basically.
But where? Where am I going back to? To Myra?
Yeah, I guess so, she is the woman I am married to after all. She's probably worried sick right now so I really should get going.

So then what's stopping me?

I just can't get up, it feels like I'm stuck to this bed the same way I am stuck to this town, to the memories, to the people.
I don't want to go.
But I have to, because I have responsibilities. I at least owe Myra an apology, I'll see where I go from there.
I don't know, but everything just seems right when I'm in Derry with everybody.
But I have no choice, do I?

So I get up, take my bag and leave the hotelroom. After I get out, I just stand there, staring at the door.
Then I remember something, or more like someone.
I walk over to the hotelroom next to me, but am disappointed when nobody answers my knocking on the door.

Looks like he already left.

I guess now there's really no reason to stay any longer.
I check out, get into my car, start the engine and start driving. Start driving towards my old life, the life I had before I remembered.
And I wonder if it will ever be the same.

After hours of driving, I am very much exhaustedly standing on my front door step, mentally preparing for what awaits me inside.
Or rather who.

There's no reason to wait and make it worse for myself, so I just unlock the door and walk in.
For a split second everything is quiet. I take in the familiar smell of desinfection spray, peppermint mouth wash and womens perfume.
I just can't let go from my past, can I?

I take in a deep breath and yell
„MYRA, SWEETIE, I'M HOME!"

„EDDIE?!" , I hear a loud voice screaming from upstairs, followed by very loud footsteps rushing down the stairs.

„Eddie!" an obese woman is now rushing towards me, embracing me and almost squeezing me to death.
„Eddie, baby, oh my god are you alright? Where have you been? Why did you just leave like that and what the hell happened to your cheek? How did that-"

„Myra!" I interrupt her. Too many questions at once, too little attention span to answer them.
„Myra, honey, I am exhausted so can we just talk about this tomorrow? Yes? Okay good then good nigh-" In an attempt to walk away, I get taken by my right upper arm. I am now looking into a worried, but more angry face than I have ever really seen on her.

„Don't you dare walk away from me."
This surprises me, she never stops me from walking away. Never.

„Myra what-"

„No. Don't you dare walk away from me Edward."
Okay she is not worried anymore, now she is just furious. Her grip loosens up a bit but I still can't walk away.

„Do you know how worried I've been? You have been gone for an entire week. Unavailable. Not answering any phone calls nor texting back. I went to your workplace to ask if they've heard anything from you, but also, nothing. Not a single trace of you for the past week.
I couldn't sleep, I kept thinking something might've happened.
You didn't even explain why you left, nothing. You just said you were going out and it might take a couple of days, and then you left.
Let me ask you something. In this past week, have you ever even thought about me for like a second? No, you didn't, because if you did, you would have called. You would have cared about how I felt and you would have at least explained.
But you didn't. You just fucking didn't.
And you know what? I don't want to hear what you were doing this past week. If it wasn't important enough to tell me why you left me alone for days, it probably isn't important enough to tell me now right? Besides, poor you is so exhausted and you need your beauty sleep, so go on, sleep. Sleep for a week if you like, because another week won't do the difference now!"

I am completely speechless. I can't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now.

„Okay Myra, I understand your fury. I'm sorry for not contacting you all this time, but something came up. Something really important that would take too much time to explain. I am not having an affair, if that's what you're thinking. I just think you would claim I'm crazy if I try to explain everything that's happened in this past week, and what's happened 27 years ago."

Now I know how I'm feeling. I'm feeling the exact same way I did, when I had to explain something to my angry, worried mother. When I got a lecture about how worried she was and what could have happened everytime I came home past the curfew. I hate this feeling. I hate it so much, and adding up to this feeling, a look at Myra makes me realize that I basically married my mother. Obese, constant panick about my health and my pill taking, angry and worried if I do something out of the ordinary.

„I don't understand you Eddie. I don't know what happened in this week, but I feel like I have a stranger standing in front of me.
I can't do this."
And with that, she whispers one simple thing:

„I will give you two days, and then I want you out."

Is she asking me to move out? She doesn't understand me at all, does she? She doesn't understand me, or my decisions. She doesn't understand why I act the way I act and why I hate the sight of balloons. She doesn't understand my paranoia when walking past a sewer drain or my hatred against pills. She just doesn't get it, and she never will, because of one simple fact:

She wasn't there. She didn't witness the things I did nor will she believe me if I explain anything. And I don't want to live like that. I don't want to live with somebody who can't understand or accept my decisions.

„I never thought this day would come, but right now I can't stand being underneath the same roof as you. I think it's best if we stay separated for a couple of weeks and figure out, what we really want. I don't care where you stay, as long as you're gone within the next two days. I'm not asking for a divorce, but I-"

„Well I am." I say this with complete certainty. I know that even if we stay separate for a few weeks, it won't change the fact that she is my mother in a way. And I don't want to be reminded about my germophobia that I got, but also many other unpleasant memories, just because of that oversensitive scumbag I called mother.

Without saying anything else I walk upstairs, leaving my future ex-wife completely confused and upset behind. I turn around one last time.
„I'm finding a lawyer tomorrow to get this over with as soon as possible and I will contact you as soon as I have the divorce papers."
With that I turn around and slam the bedroom door shut, feeling as if a weight has been lifted off my chest.
I don't really have too many things, so I gather them all in a total of four boxes and three suitcases and rush downstairs.
I don't want to be gone in two days, I want to be gone now.
I rush downstairs and open the front door to put my belongings into my car.
Holding the last box in my hands, and about to leave this place forever, I turn to Myra and say:

„You're right. You don't understand me and you never will. I am happy that I'm finally realizing that."

With that I turn around, put the last box in my car, and leave.
I don't know where I'm headed, but I've got a feeling that a brighter future awaits me wherever it is I'm heading.