Chapter 18: Half Gone

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 Gally looks at you with horror filled eyes.

"Bring him up." You demand.

"Y/n... I don't think that's a good ide..."

"I didn't ask what you thought!" You interrupt, "Now bring him up!" You yell.

You're trembling all over and the lump in your throat burns horribly as you force down your emotions. You realize that you're squeezing someone's hand excessively hard. You look down at your hand to find Minho's hand in yours. You glance up to his face which is covered in guilt. He thinks this is his fault. You squeeze his hand slightly, letting him know that it's not his fault. He smiles back at you and you can see he body relax.

Gally pulls on the rope, bringing Chris ever closer to the top. Your whole body trembles as you fear the worst. Chris's head appears over the edge lolling to the side. Gally looks pale, almost as if he's about to puke.

"Gally?" Your voice quivers.

He shakes his head. Then pulls the rest of Chris up. You stumble backward with a shriek. Chris's blood spills out over the stone ground of the courtyard from where his legs used to be. You fall onto your knees as your whole body jerks with a sob. He's gone. The image is burned into your mind. His body brutally destroyed. Everything is a blur, like a cruel nightmare you can't seem to wake up from. Yet it's oh so real. Your stomach churns as the pain of loss takes over every part of you. All at once you loose the contents of your stomach, coating the ground in bile. Your body aches as you cry. Devastation sinks like a stone in the pit of your stomach

He's gone.

A warm hand is gently placed on your back. You shrug it away.

"Go away!!" You cry.

"Y/n please..." A soft voice responds.

With your head buried in your arms you ignore him as you continue to sob.

Someone sits next to you without a word. For what feels like hours you continue to cry until there are no more tears left. Your mouth is dry and you're shaking with hunger and exhaustion. You turn your red puffy face to Alby who sits next you. He smiles sadly at you. He too, has red eyes. Now it's just you and him left of the first Gladers.

"Come on let's get you some water. " He offers you his hand.

You take it and the two of you walk slowly to the kitchen. The sun sits directly over your head, all too bright for such a somber day. It's like the sun is mocking you. Shining brightly into your face, when your world has become so dark. It's laughing at your pain, laughing at your blotchy face, laughing at your tears, laughing at your weakness. You shake your head. You're not weak. Anyone else would lost their mind by now if they did all that you do.

You hold your head high as you walk into the kitchen and pour yourself a glass of water. You and Alby sit in silence, mourning the loss of a friend.

You only need the light when it's burning low. Only miss the sun when it starts to snow. Only know you love him when you let him go. Only know you've been high when you're feeling low. Only hate the road when you're missing home. Only know you love him when you let him go.

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You spend the rest of the day in silence. When the sun sinks below the edge of the wall you go straight to bed without dinner.

Chris's face smiles down at you. His arms wrapped around your waist and your hands on his shoulders as the two of you dance around the Glade. Your face glitters under the light of a thousand stars as you sway to the song inside your head. Your heart swells with joy as you look up into this boy's face. He leans in slowly for a kiss. Without warning his face begins to melt. Slowly the skin drips from his skull as you back away with a scream. Worry crosses the rest of Chris's face as he reaches out to you with melting hands. You back away faster only to have him come after you. He crumbles with each step as the rest of his skin has been melted off, all that's left is crumbling bone. You trip on a root and crash backward onto the ground with a yelp of pain. Chris takes another step toward you but hi leg can't take the weight. He crumbles down on to of you. You scream and squirm but you're stuck under his body. He starts to shake your shoulders, fear in his eyes. You close your eyes.

"Y/n! Y/n, wake up!"

Slowly you open your eyes to see Newt looking down at you with fear. You're lying on the wooden floor, Newt on top of you, holding you down. Cautiously Newt releases your arms and shifts off of you. You sit up, rubbing the pain in your back.

"What uh... What happened?" You ask quietly.

Newt looks at you sadly.

"I think you had a nightmare, you were screaming and trashing when I came in, then you fell off the bed. But you kept thrashing around... you were going to hurt yourself so I held you down while trying to wake you up." Newt explains.

"Thanks." You mutter.

"Of course."

You climb back on to your bed and Newt starts to walk over to the door.

"You going to be alright?" Newt asks with genuine concern on his face.

"Yeah. Thanks Newt." You respond, forcing a smile.

Newt nods, then leaves, closing the door behind him. You lay back on your pillow and close your eyes. The first image that pops into your head is of Chris. Your eyes shoot open. You can't do this all night. Silently, you slip out of bed and walk out into the courtyard. You slowly make your way over to the garden You walk the rows of fresh greenery, the soft turf is cool to your bare feet. Grabbing a bucket, you start to pick the ripe fruits and vegetables.

Eventually all the fresh crops have been collected, so you gather your gardening tools and the seeds and start planting new rows of crops. All night you work, never blinking.

The first pink lights of the sun cross the horizon and you're still working in the garden. You take a seat on a bench and allow yourself a break. A figure emerges from the shadows of the Homestead, making his way to the doors. You assume it's Minho getting ready to run like always, but when the boy's dirty blonde hair becomes visible you know it's Newt.

"Newt?" You call, "What are you doing, Alby gave you guys the day off."

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