Not As Young (Bwwm Mafia Sequel)

Sad Song

~ 3 years and 7 months after the night of the shootout~

Killian POV

I can't believe he's gone. I was supposed to protect him. Kiana would've wanted me too. Now here I am planning Fetu's funeral. We had a war with the Cubans and he got caught in the ceasefire. Seventeen bullets in his body. Damn he had become like a brother to me. First I lose my woman and now a brother. Guess I'm doomed to be alone.

"Just make sure his casket is lined with varnish." I say. Ready to get the hell out of this funeral home. I give him one last look before I kiss his forehead and walk out. My phone starts ringing.

"Sup." I say.

"How did it go bro." Nae asks.

Luca and her got married about a year ago. I was the best man. Of course I was upset because I didn't get my own happy ending but, it wasn't my day and I wasn't going to do that to my brother or my new sister.

"Fine. I just can't believe he's gone. I wonder who this person is that Alesana has doing his eulogy." I say.

"Me too. Apparently nobody knows."she replies.

"I'll be home soon." I tell her.

"Will you be having dinner with us tonight?" She asks.

I really am not in the mood to be around anyone, my heart's too heavy.

"Nah, I'm sorry sis. I have a bunch of paperwork that needs my attention before tomorrow." I say.

"Kill I'm worried about you. You haven't been sleeping or eating as of late and I think that you should see a doctor about your depression. I get that you miss her but, it's been years. I don't think she's coming back." Renee says. I really dont want to talk about this.

"I have to go I'll see you at home in a bit." I say and hang up before she replies.

I get in my McLaren and start driving back to the house. I look over at the passenger seat and the memory of our ride to the hotel the night of her birthday plague my mind. My heart cracks a little leaving this pain in my chest. I feel my eyes start to water but, I pull my tears back and focus. No one knows how I feel, I mask it very well but, in truth. I feel broke, like I'm missing a half of my whole heart. When she left she took me with her. The last memory I have of her isn't even real. What she said echoes in my head everyday. 'You know I'll always love you' but does she really even after all this time. Surely she's moved on. The thought of someone touching her body with my mark on it makes me we want to barf.

Pulling up to the house and driving into the garage parking next to what used to be her Wraith. I sigh and drag my steps as walk into the kitchen and see Renee cooking. I walk past her not even bothering to speak. I'm not in the mood for conversation. I walk past the room that I used to share with the woman who used to be my future wife - and will be again if I ever find her- I haven't slept in that room for years and I won't until I have her back. If I ever get her back. That woman is hard to get if she doesn't want to be found. I have been looking for her for the past three years looking for any trace that could lead me to her whereabouts. I had a few but, they all lead to nowhere and I was back at square one again. I run my hands through my hair tugging at it hard. Im so frustrated and everyone keeps saying I need to let this go and move on but, I can't. I don't think I can ever love anyone else the way I love her. A knock on my office door brings me out of my thoughts.

"You want to talk about it?" Luca asks.

"It just hurts so much. I want her back. I have been trying to act like she doesn't cross my mind, like her leaving doesn't bother me. But, it does! It bothers me so fucking bad fratello and I just don't know what I should do and Fetu is dead, he isn't around anymore to fucking talk to me about her or remind me of the little things she did. I can barely even remember what her voice sounds like." I rant.