Erkenci Kus, The Continuing Story

Can

Sanem walked away from Can. 

He stood on the rocks watching her go, helpless to stop her. He felt an overwhelming sense of deja vu. He rubbed his fingers across his lips. They felt singed. The tingle, the heat...the taste of her still remained on his lips, on his tongue, and in his mouth. His body had responded in a powerful way he had never experienced before. When Sanem had pulled away from him, Can was speechless. He had been since he arrived at the rocks and saw her sitting there. Now as she pulled away from him, he felt like he had just been ripped in two.

The urge to run after her was so strong it was magnetic, yet he was frozen in place, unable to move. Can Divit had been kissed passionately before, but no kiss ever impacted him the way Sanem's kiss just had. He understood from reading her book that they had shared many moments here, together on these rocks. He desperately searched his mind trying to find those memories... but there was nothing. Only a terrible feeling of loss, of dread. But with every fiber of his being, he knew he did not want her to go.

What he did not understand was why? Why would she go? It was a question he should know the answer to. It was his way of handling things. His modus operandi, what he had always done. How many times had he hurt her, how many times had he left her? Had she felt any part of the devastation he was feeling right now? After all the people he had left behind, did he deserve this right now?

Can's place of refuge in Istanbul was his mountain hut. He went there to try to gather his thoughts and pull himself together. But the comfort he was looking for eluded him. He felt lost at sea, drifting in a fog, a thick black fog. He broke down and cried. He had not cried like this since he was a young boy. Nothing made sense to him anymore.  He looked at his phone through tear-filled eyes. He tried to focus on the names swimming before him, looking for her number, but he could not see it. He punched in the number from memory, hit the "Call" button, then waited for her to answer.

"Hello, Can!" She answered his call almost immediately.

(Get ready and brace yourselves, ladies!!)

"Polen?" he choked out her name. "Polen, I don't know what's happening. Everything feels so... so... crazy. I don't know what is happening and why!"

There was a pause then Polen said, "Can, calm down. Take a deep breath and tell me where you are."

Can was calling Polen, only a friend who had always been there for him. He had always known Polen was not the one he would love. But they had been good friends. They talked for a long time while Polen told Can everything that had happened between them. From the moment he had met Sanem, she had known things were over between them. She realized nothing was stronger than Can's love for Sanem, but she had tried everything to win him back. Then she confessed the truth of her dirty games and about his mother's involvement in them.  In the end, it was clear Can had never loved her. Polen told him she was deeply sorry for all she had done to try and hold onto him and hoped he would forgive her. He and Sanem shared an epic love, one she had never seen before, but hoped one day to have for herself.

Polen told him, "Don't give up, Can! Don't you dare give up! Don't give up on you, and don't give up on Sanem."

(Note from the author: Oh, that was mean to throw that in there, right? But of course, he would call her. They were always there for each other in rough times. That is what he does remember. Yes, Polen behaved badly, but how hard would you have fought to win that war?)

Can sat reclining on the couch, his eyes absentmindedly resting on the record player. Some silent voice called him to play the record that was sitting on the turntable. It was an album from musician Ufuk Beydemir and the first song that started was 'Ay Tenli'. He loved this album but felt terribly sad listening to it and did not understand why.