Beyond (Simon Snow Series)

12

SIMON
All I can think about is that little girl with the peony (they made us take a plant and herbs class our second year, I'm kind of surprised I haven't forgotten everything by now).
She gave up the last little thing that she had, the last beautiful thing in her possession, to make someone else smile.
I wish I could be like her. I wish I could make someone smile. All I did was give up my magic- to get rid of the Humdrum- and no one smiled at me. Not even Baz. I haven't seen Baz smile in a while. I wish he would. He looks so pretty when he smiles. Even if his fangs pop out. I think they look utterly amazing. To others he probably looks terrifying. To me he just looks handsome.

We followed Penny's mum through two rooms until finally stopping in a big room with lots of black art along the walls and ceiling.
While I'm staring at it I walk face first into the back of Baz's neck. He smells good. He moves his head just enough so that he can see me standing directly behind him. I catch his eye. He stands there for a moment, just... looking at me. Then he pulls his gaze away and walks to catch up with Agatha and Shepard. Part of me wished he would never pull his eyes from mine.
Once we settle in to a place in the crowd, I find Penny standing next to her mum a few people away from us.
"Alright," she says. "Now that we're all here," she scans the room for us and dips her head slightly in my direction.
I'm suddenly very aware of the giant red leathery wings sprouting from my back. It's not that I'm not used to people looking at them, Penny and Baz used to look at them all the time. It's that I'm not used to other people looking at them. Even mages sometimes look at me like I'm something else. Maybe I'm hallucinating, but I think everyone here is staring at me. Or rather, at them.