photograph || quinn fabray

8. as long as there's someone better

Nationals were just around the corner, meaning it was time for many to fight over solos even more. But I was too busy fixating on my prom night. Sure, it didn't end with a kiss, but it did end with me being hopeful. I was so hopeful that I gained the courage to talk to Quinn about how I felt.

She placed the coffee cup back on the table after taking a sip. "What's wrong?" She asked. "You're being oddly quiet even though you're the one that wanted to come to the Lima Bean."

I tapped my foot anxiously. "Uh," I took a deep breath. "You finished your campaign for prom queen." I stated.

"Your point?" Quinn asked, looking at me oddly.

"Well, you were just using Finn for prom queen, and I guess, I'm just wondering if now that that's done..." I trailed off. I felt ridiculous.

"Oh, my god." She said before laughing. "Madison, I'm not breaking up with Finn. Sure, I wanted to be prom queen, but I still care about him. No one is gonna make me break up with him. And I'm not gonna let Rachel get in the way."

I pushed my muffin away from me. My appetite and hope were both gone. I just wanted to disappear. "No, yeah. Obviously. I know that." I needed an excuse to leave. "I completely forgot. I- I have to go Rachel needs help choosing a song for her audition.

I stood up from the table and scurried away. "You forgot your muffin!" Quinn said. I didn't bother to turn around.

...

Coach Sylvester walked up to the lectern, pulling out the speech she had written for her sister. She put her glasses on, took a deep breath and began. "I miss my sister. Every night at 10 or so, she used to call me on the phone, and when I asked her why, she'd tell me that her body told her... she wanted to hear my voice." She struggled to continue, beginning to cry.

Mr. Shue stood up and joined her. He took the notecards from her. "I miss my sister." He read. "The smell of her shampoo. The way she could always convince me to read her another book. When you love someone like I loved her, they're a part of you; it's like you're attached by this invisible tether and no matter how far away you are, you can always feel them."

I suddenly felt Rachel clutch my hand tightly. She pulled my hand onto her lap. We looked at each other sadly. She looked just as teary eyed as me. We might've felt that our love for others was unrequited, but we had each other. And no one could ever break our tether.

"And now every time I reach for that tether I know there's no one on the other end and I feel like I'm falling into nothingness. Then I remember Jean. I remember a life led with no enemies, no resentments, no regrets and I'm inspired to get up out of bed and go on. I miss my sister so much it feels like piece of me has been ripped off. Just one more time I want to hold her. Ten more seconds— is that too much to ask? For ten more seconds to hold her? But I can't and I won't and the only thing keeping me from being swallowed whole by sadness is that Jean would kill me if I did. So for now I'm just going to miss her. I love you Jean. Rest in peace." Mr. Shue said.