i hate u, i love u (Taehyung ff)

You

Y/n's POV
You had gone back to your hometown right after the divorce, thinking that a change of environment would make you forget about Taehyung & all the tragedy. However, no matter how hard you tried to cheer yourself up, you just couldn't. Taehyung had hurt you too deep. People's whispers behind your back didn't help either.
They said that you'd feel a connection with your child as soon as you held him/her in your arms. Ironically, you didn't feel that way.
When Yebin was born, you couldn't even look at her because she reminded you too much of Taehyung. Same eyes, same nose, same lips. On top of that, she wasn't an easy baby at all. She kept crying without any particular reason & being a first time mom that you were, you didn't know what to do. You'd lost so much weight because you were so stressed & couldn't eat properly. You almost gave up but luckily you had your mom to support you at all times.
As time passed, you gradually fell in love with Yebin. She stuck to your side regardless how cold you were towards her. Her warm tiny fingers would snake in between yours, then she would look up at you & said,
"Eomma, saranghae," with a wide grin on her beautiful face. Slowly but surely, she'd become an irreplaceable part of your life.
Nevertheless, the neighbors' gossips about you hadn't died down, although 2 years had passed. Thus, you had decided to move back to Seoul with Yebin. You'd figured Taehyung must have had forgotten about you, plus you'd be living in a different part of the town anyway. Far away from his expensive high-class neighborhood.

"Yebin ah, where did you say you got the teddy bear from?" You asked her again once you got home.
"I told you a friend gave it to me." She annoyedly replied.
"Who? Do I know this person? Why did your friend give you a teddy bear when it wasn't even your birthday?" You pushed on.
"Eomma, can we please not talk about this first? I'm hungry." She whined & pouted her lips.
"Ok ok. I'll let you have it as long as you didn't take it from someone without permission." Smiling, you huffed in surrender.
"Yeay! Gomawoyo eomma, you're the best." She said as she hugged the teddy bear.
"What are we having for dinner?" She excitedly asked.
"Kimchi fried rice. You like it, don't you?" You tried to hide the guilt in your voice.
"But we had it yesterday. And the day before. Can we eat some katsu, please? Jiyeon said her mom would cook her favorite katsu for dinner tonight." She whined as she tugged at the corner of your apron.
"We'll have it next time, I promise. Eomma hasn't gotten the money to buy the ingredients for katsu. So please be patient Yebin ah." You knelt down in front of her & smiled.
"Ok.." She disappointedly dragged her voice & went back to sit at the dining table.
Times like this always made you wonder whether you'd made the right choice of bringing her up on your own. If you'd told Taehyung about her, maybe Yebin would be happier. She'd have enough money to buy whatever foods or toys she wanted. Unlike now, you had to pinch every possible penny just to pay for basic necessities with your measly salary as a shop assistant.
"Eomma, where's appa? What's he like?" Yebin suddenly asked.
Your heart skipped a beat at her question. You knew you could never hide it from her forever, but you were afraid to tell her the truth. Afraid that she would hate you.
"Yebin ah, appa-" You struggled to find the right words.
"Buzz!" The sound of doorbell saved you from the awkward situation.
"Yebin ah, go see who it is."
"Ajusshi!" Yebin exclaimed enthusiastically as she opened the door.
You knew who it was even without looking.
"Jin ah, wasseo (you came)?"
"Yebin ah, have you been a good girl today?" Jin cooed to Yebin.
"Nee!" She nodded vigorously.
"Really? Then, I'll give you a present. Jjan jjan! Katsu!" He took out a plastic bag with a take-out box inside it.
"Woahhh! Kamsahamnida ajusshi! How did you know that I wanted to eat katsu?" She held the box in her arms like it was the most precious jewel in the world.
"You're spoiling her too much." You turned around & smiled at Jin.
"It's nothing. What are you cooking? Let me guess, kimchi fried rice?" He walked to your side & took a peek at your pan.
"Well, you know how it is." You shrugged as you put the content of the pan onto three plates.
"You're wasting your skill by cooking the same thing everyday. But don't worry. You'll put your cooking skills to good use soon." He clasped his hands & grinned.
"What do you mean?"
"You know that sous chef job you applied for at the restaurant I'm working at. Boss talked to me today & he said you're hired."
"What?" You were so surprised that you almost dropped the plates.
"Wahhh eomma chukhahae (congrats)!" Yebin & Jin clapped their hands for you.
"B-but I thought- Those people who applied were graduates from famous cooking schools & had so much experience."
"The most important thing is that you got the job. Maybe boss saw something in you. Anw, let's celebrate! To Y/n, our new chef!" Jin raised his glass of water & proposed a toast.
"To my meosissjin (cool) eomma!" Yebin lifted her tiny glass as well.
"Thank you everyone." You smiled, tears welling in your eyes.
Then, when Yebin wasn't looking, Jin took your hand & squeezed it.
"Chukhahae (congrats).." He whispered with so much love in his eyes.
You muttered a quick thanks & averted your gaze. Although you had agreed to be his girlfriend after his incessant effort, you still couldn't love him back as much as he did towards you & you felt guilty for it.
"Ok, now who wants katsu?" Jin opened the box exaggeratedly.
"Me me me!" Yebin pointed her forefinger excitedly.
You smiled at the scene. Jin had been so good with Yebin & he had been nothing but supportive all these years.
I should try opening my heart more for him.
A flashing image of Taehyung crossed your mind.
Stop thinking about him & move on!
You thought as you dug into your dinner.