Fuck your gender binary

.21.

Deadpool's P.O.V
After I meet Captain Assmerica and Iron Dick last night, I went to the spot Spider-Man told me to meet him only for him to never show. I went searching for him all night, but soon came to the conclusion he didn't patrol last night.

I can only assume that either A, he didn't patrol due to injury of his binder or B, he really didn't have 4 million dollars.

"Or C all of the above."

"Either way, we have to make money some how. Let's just send that stupid asshat to the guy. He probably doesn't even have the 4 million and he's playing us like a goddamn sucker."

I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I mean his a super hero, why would he lie?

"Technically he's a vigilante. In the eyes of the law he isn't a complete good guy."

"Still better than us, we fucking kill people and shit for a living."

"True."

Either way, there is probably a valid reason why he didn't bring us our money. Besides, he will probably patrol tonight and bring it to us.

"You're behaving really mature and understanding about this."

"Yeah what the fuck is wrong with you?"

I'm not sure, I guess I kinda feel bad for him you know? It can't be easy to be a female to male transgender superhero. Plus, we know his secret without him really wanting to tell us.

"It's because he reminds you of Peter isn't it?"

Duh! You're in my head you should know this! And I'm pretty sure that Peter really looks up to Spider-Man so I'm gonna feel super bad if I get rid of him and Peter finds out.

"What if we get rid of him and Peter doesn't find out?"

Do you even hear yourself? Of course Peter would find out! He's a freaking genius and it doesn't take one to figure out I did it.

"Maybe you could get Peter to trace Spider-Man so we can guarantee that we see him tonight?"

That's not a bad idea!

To Peter: Hey baby boy! I hope you're having a great day! I love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Anyway, I was wondering if you could use your big brain of yours to help me track down Spider-Man. I'm not gonna hurt him or anything, I just need to talk to him preferably tonight. If you can do that for me I'd love you even more than I already do which is basically me loving you infinitely to infinitely times infinite. Ok anyway love you, have a good day at school, byeeeeeee ❤️.

Now we wait for a response.

"You disgust me."