What Even Is Love; My Collection Of Poetic Things

me standing on my own

I used to stand
Stand alone
Tall and cold
Heart of stone
And I felt nothing
They left me
And I was fine
I'd look around and all I'd see
Was happy children
And I was just empty

Then I opened up
I stumbled a little
All of yall were there
to set me up right again
This time tho i had a hand on my back
Just a little support from some people
going through the same thing

Then he came along
took my hand
And said hed hold it forever
I leaned on him
Loved on him
He supported me in ways
I'd never had before
He made me feel loved and supported
I felt pretty and special
And when he wasnt right by my side
It was hard to stay up right
I would stumble through the week
Hoping to find his hand in mine soon
Wishing the days away
Till I could have him to lean on again

Then he let go of my hand
And I fell
Fell face first into
A puddle of loneliness
I hoped everyday
He'd reach out his hand again

I begged for a hand
Just a little support
But all my friends
Said I needed to do it on my own
They'd help me up
but then they'd let go
It wasnt rejection
They just knew
I needed to do it on my own

I spent months standing up
And right when I was upright
The thought of him would trip me up
Eventually tho I could do it
I stumbled alot
But i stayed upright
I could finally stand on my own
I didnt shut people out like before
But I didnt hang on to anyone's words
Like life support
I didnt need anyone
But I still accepted their help

Then you came along
And I took your hand
Not because I was on the floor
Not because I needed it
I thought I needed it
But I didnt
I dont
I just like it
I like holding your hand
You make me feel pretty and special
But I make myself feel that way too
I feel loved and supported by you
But more importantly
I feel loved and supported by myself
And so i do it for the enjoyment of it
Not because my mental health depends on it
Not because if I let go
I wont be able to stand again
Because I can let go
And I can stand on my own now
But I'm happy
Im happy holding your hand

So I'm gonna keep holding on
I'm not gonna lean in tho
I'm not gonna make you
my source of support
Because I dont need to
I dont need you
I just really want you
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I know know that needing someone like that isnt healthy and I'm happy where I am now and I hope I stay like this. And thankyou to the hands that helped support me and didnt let go, I really appreciate yall❤🧡💛