What Even Is Love; My Collection Of Poetic Things

me being ditzy

Pretty
Hot
Sexy
Gorgeous
Perfect
B e a u t i f u l

All words I dreamed of hearing

For the past 1/2 a decade I've dreamed of being seen in that light

Of not being boring

Of being something to stare at

And after months of staring with stars in my eyes

Months of my face lighting up at the split second glances before looking at something else

I have someone staring back

Someone staring back and never glancing away

Cause all they wanna see is me

It's all I ever wanted

And I dont want him to look away

I just hope he sees more

Cause when he looks at me I'm a lovesick little girl

I'm dumb and ditzy

"Its okay cause your pretty"

That's the responce when my brain stops working and I do something stupid and silly

And it's a funny lighthearted conversation

But I am smart

And I like being smart

But I'm never smart around him

Cause he makes it hard to think straight

And even when we have educated conversations I dont know shit about science or the space time continuum crap

So I just look stupid just smiling and nodding

Sit still look pretty

That's how I feel

Not because of anyone I did it to myself

I just smile and nod when I dont understand their sciencey talk

And I just want him to think of me as intelligent

But I dont really do a good job of proving that

And even one of my best friends thinks I'm stupid and making dumb decisions

And I feel awful for complaining

Cause I've got friends who support me even if they dont agree

And he thinks I'm really pretty and caring and nice

And that's all I could ask for

Almost all

I just dont wanna feel like they think I'm a moron

Idk

It's fine

Itll all be fine