The Great Sacrifice

Chapter Eleven

           Laying in my bed, I felt so many emotions, I couldn't find rest as I tossed and turned, but more importantly things had to be different? I couldn't sleep and regardless of the fact that the very next day i had practice.
     Waking up, all I felt was guilt and shame of what I had done. Daphne, my future, then there was to consider the public place in which we participated in the activities. I barley looked at myself in the mirror as I put on my make up and got ready for the day. I slipped out the door without a word to anyone, I practiced and of course Mr. Francesca let me leave early as his own way of apologizing for what happened yesterday. I went home and did something I hadn't done in a very long time, I hid under my covers. A soft knock made me pick up my head from the blankets, "Daddy" I said surprised. "Maddie called saying she was worried about you" he said softly. "I'm fine" I said sitting up. "I brought you this" he held up the pink scrap book my mother mad of me. I only smiled, "Maybe another time, Dad. I really just want to sleep". "You could sleep our you could look at these with me so I can relive the best years of my life" he said sitting on the edge of my bed. I shrugged and he scouted closer. My dad could recall every picture exactly whst we did or doing, what my mom smelled like, why she was laughing, and at the end of the book my dad let a single tear drop. On the last page wad a letter my mom gave me when I turned Five. I always got them. One when I was ten and another when I was fifteen. Not when I turned twenty , he touched the letter, "she worked on this letter from the day you where born. I looked at him, "You never told me that". He only nodded, "She was always writing them" he said, closing the book, he got up whipping his face, "How do you feel?" "Better" I said, but all I could think about was my letters. If she was always writing them, Why didn't my dad give me the ones for my twentieth birthday, even if it wasn't complete, it was the words of my mother, they would of meant more than the diamond necklace I received.
     After dinner, my father went out and I headed into his room. The room hadn't changed at all it was as if my mother slept in the bed every night. Moving around the room not bumping into anything, I walked into her seperate room that at some point was my nursery. It was like a shirin of her, nothing out of place and everything clean. I touched the silk bathrobe and leaned in smelling her lingering rose water perfume. Sitting at her vanity I pulled out a few drawers that was filled with old makeup and scents. One with pills, I closed it quickly, I knew most ballernias took them but I didn't want to know to what extent my mother had.  Getting up, I turned to look around the room, there was her tiny library and bunch of pictures of me, a couple of cloths hanging from a rack and shoes placed under it. All of it seemed, movie like standing here, sitting in her big floral berger, imagining my  younger self sneaking in when she was supposed to be having some "mommy" time.
      "Lakelynn" my father hissed. I jumped startled, I stood pushing sleep from my eyes. He gave me a stern look, with clenched teeth his spoke, "Go to your room". I nodded, walking past him, my father had long told me that room was off limits, even before my mother died, though before she would always let me come in regardless.
     The next morning at breakfast, he asked, "When is your opening night?". "Its a summer play" I said. "If it does well?" He asked. I Shook my head, "Its Fine, there had to come a time you no longer saw me as a little girl". "I will always see you as a little girl, Laklynn" my dad said following me out the door. "Just not one you want at home anymore" I said, walking out the door.
     The day as if it picked up the scent of my pouring blood, I  had been posted kissing Mystery man in a dark. I couldn't focus and Mr. Francesca didn't care what was going on in my personal life he wanted the best. "We  have five months till this show is shown to the world all your blood, all your tears, will be for nought, if we can not perform the play" he said, looking at me intently. "Tomorrow we will do a walk through with costumes. I have high expectations" he dismissed us with a hand. I didn't linger behind, I changed into  my change of cloths I had packed which was a simple well fitting grey slacks, and a icy blue knitted sweater which hung off one should, I brushed my hair into a neat bun, touching up my make up, before heading to the hospital. I stood out having my glasses on my face propping them on my head, I walked to the front desk, the lady there smiled unimpressed. "Dr. Avella" I said calmly.  "Is he expecting you?" She asked looking me up and down. "No, I'm  a friend" I said, wringing my nose up.  "Head to the tenth floor, it will be the second door on the right" she said. I nodded, walking to the elevator. I was surprised how calm and confident I was being when I was so obvious sweating and my heart was racing. I hadn't seen him since he dropped me off in front of my house, he handed me his card and said to call him. I hadn't called him.
          I went into the room it was very nice and high class, "Hello can I help you" this lady was much more friendly and was more likely paid more for the clients she worked with. "Yes, I was looking for Dr. Avella" I said. She smiled softly, "Do you have an appointment?" "I'm just a friend stopping by" I said. "Oh, Dr. Avella doesn't receive company on business hours" she said almost robotic. I sighed, "Do you have any appointments open for today?". "Not for Dr. Avella" she said. "When is his next available date?" I asked. "Not until July" she said not blinking. I tapped the granted desk, "There is no way you can page him to see?" I asked. "Dr. Avella doesn't like to be bothered at his desk, unless its a schedule appointment" she said. "So he's at his desk and you can't page him? Or call?" I asked. "Yes, per his request" she said all this while smiling professionally. She was not fazed by my persistence or my growing irritation, "Can you make a exception just this once please?" I asked, folding my hands together. She looked to the side, "Ma'am, I am really sorry, but those are my instructions, I apologize for the inconvince this is causing you, but Dr. Avella is very sought after and very busy" she said. "Lakelynn" he called my name in a why I never heard it. So Sensual all the hairs on the back of my neck sat up,  turning I clung to my false confidence. He was looking almost to much to look at in his white coat in book they often mention what a uniform did to a man and for Dr. Avella it did that and more.  He walked over so he was right in front of me less than a foot away, a blush spread across my face, I held up my hand, which was still wrapped in bandage Maddie had done for me. "I was hoping you could take a look at my wrist" I said. "I'm a surgeon, I don't know much about bruised skin" he said his words cold pushing his hands in his pockets looking me in the eyes with his dark once. I looked over at the receptionist who wasn't hiding her interest in our conversation. He must not usally be so kind to his usual intruder.
      I nodded, "I'm sorry then. I guess I was mistaken". "Come into my office, I'll see if my one of my coworkers can look at you" he said looking at his watch. "Its fine, I'm sure its fine" I said adjusting my bag holding onto my pride. He looked over at the receptionist, "Call Dr. Phowler ask him to come to my office". With that he put a hand around me and guided me into his office closing the door firmly behind us, being close to him, smelling his scent, I felt a rush. One I knew I shouldn't indulge, but craved to. 
      "You look nice" he said softly against my ear. I shivered, looking up meeting his eyes, he was hovering close to me. "Thank you" I whispered. He stared at me for a second longer before stepping back, "What brings you to my office?" I tried to adjust myself, recalling why I was here. "I have a proposal of sort". He raised an eyebrow, "Why don't you have a seat". I sat down first once he was seated, I crossed my legs. "This morning my father seems to have come to him limit" I said. He didn't seem surprised, "I also have about six more months before my show goes on tour. Of course the first showing will be here" he nodded, "What does that have to do with me?" "There are some protections I am offered as I  usally do bring my father to most events and occasions" he visibly flexed clenching his jaw. I cut in, "You want me to be your escort?" "I would like to be your tenant. The tabloids will handle the rest, I can pay any fee you set and I won't be in your way" I said. A grin pulled onto his face, "You want to live with me?" I blushed. "I want to rent a room, yes". "I haven't lived with a women in a long time" his eyes was pinned on my face. "Is that all you want? To be my tenant?" He asked. I felt more blood rush to my face, touching a cool damp hand to my face, I cleared my throat, "I understand if you need some time to think about this". I stood just as a soft knock came and the door opened, he looked between us and smiled, "Well, at least I knocked". He was a younger man with bronze colored hair and deep blue eyes. "You must be the patient" he said looking me over. I gave a polite smile and gave my usual uninterested look. He wasn't so easily put off, he was turning on the charm. "I'm Dr. David Phowler" I nodded looking at his out stretched hand, "I'm  Lakelynn Carrel". "The Ballerina. My little sister is obsessed with you and a couple of my patients" he said in amazement. Pulling my hand away, "Could I get a couple of autographs?" He asked. Dr. Avella stood up then, "She is the patient". He looked down at my wrist, "Maybe after I do quick scan then". Following him out the office, I was surprised to Mr. Madzen a friend of my dads. "Mr. Madzen" I greeted. "Well, what a treat. Lakelynn, I was just  with your father looking at apartments he said you are finally leaving the nest" he said kissing my cheeks. I didn't let my face expression, "We all have to at some point". "Yes, I hate to think its because of his recent engagement" he chuckled. "You could always stay with me, if you are looking for a place to stay" cheesed Dr. Phowler. I didn't look his way, "Your father will sort it all out" Mr. Madzen cutting a look at the doctor.
        A thick hand snaked around my waist and pulled me close, "Why don't you get checked in Mr. Madzen, I need just a second more with Ms. Carrel" his voice was level but had a bit of a edge to it now. Pulling me close so our chest touched he lowered his hand, "I thought you valued my daughter?" I met his eyes, "Why do you think I never called?"  His hand contacted around my waist, "So I suppose you plan on tell her the truth?" "Completely, beside Daphne deserves a mother. A real mother, someone willing to put her before all things and I'm much to selfish to be considered for such a special position. I'm a full time ballerina, and have no intention of putting my career on hold for anything" I said. He grinned, "So this would be simple business". "Simply" even as the words left my mouth I knew they were a lie. He lowered his head so his lips brushed mine, "Lets seal the deal then. Do you remember, how I taught you to kiss?" I nodded brushing my lips against his.