twenty eight - elliot

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i read the letter once again, not quite trusting the words inside. particularly the words which say, 'i'm sorry' and, 'i promise to leave you alone for good.'

these guys have been teasing me and bullying me for a while now; how did kai make them stop so easily? thinking about it gives me a headache and i wish that the letter's promises to stop will last.

but i fear kai might leave- it'll all begin again. all the names and the teasing and the borderline harassment.

the truth is, i've kind of gotten used to it. although it still hurts. i never really understood why though. why me?

the messy handwriting matches the one on my porch walls, which (as the letter says) will be cleaned up within the next twenty four hours.

and again, i can't help the doubt which seems to fill my mind.

i find myself looking up at kai, who only stares back at me with a knowing smile before getting up to fish something out of his pocket.

he pulls out a folded envelope, which looks like it's about to fall apart due to the time spent in his back pocket.

i smile as he hands it to me, "what's with all the letters?" i ask him, and he shrugs.

"i know how much they mean to you." he replies, sincerely. i frown, wondering how he knew.

before i get to ask; he motions swiftly to my cupboard. my eyes widen in sudden realisation. he read my letters?

"sorry for going through your things. i promise i didn't read anything."

i suddenly want to cry. he could've read every single letter i've written; how am i supposed know if he's lying?

"it's okay." i lie.

"elliot?" he asks, tilting his head. "what happened?"

i want to shrug and pass it off as a long story like i usually do, but this time i know i can't. kai deserves to know, he's my best friend.

"a little while ago, our parents were arguing. so my older brother decided to take us out to some diner- just to get away. i knew it was a distraction; he cared about me a lot. on the way home, there was a problem with the car...i don't remember what."

i pause to think, and begin to feel my eyes sting with fresh tears, but i blink them away as best as i can before kai sees.

he reaches over and squeezes my hand, which surprisingly makes me feel a little better. i move to sit closer to him, and i don't hesitate to lean my head on his shoulder. i can't help the small smile which appears on my face. but it quickly fades as i tell him the rest of the story.

"and then some car hit us, or- him. after the car skidded across the road, i passed out. all i saw was blood and glass- and there was a lot of screaming. mom said he died on impact. i stayed in hospital for a while; and it was the talk of the neighbourhood for ages...

i couldn't get away from it."

it's only now i notice hot tears on my face, and kai shuffles around and we somehow end up laying down.

i feel his hands rub my back and i smile at his attempts to make me feel better, because it almost does. i can tell he doesn't really know what to do, and i feel like a burden. but whatever he's doing is working and i appreciate him greatly.

maybe i need to write my own letter to kai.

the tears stop falling as he wraps his arms around me. my head buried into his chest and his head leaning delicately on top of my own. his hands slide up and down my sides loosely, and hushed whispers escapes his lips.

"it's okay."
"i'm here for you."
"it's going to be fine."

his comforting arms around me make me feel safe and warm; and i suddenly feel very tired. my heavy eyes force themselves to close and i hear kai whisper something in my ear, but sleep devours me before i can decipher it.

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word count: 716
*edited*
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also hi, happy thanksgiving<3

i appreciate you all(:<

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