FROM THE AWARD-WINNING AUTHORS OF THE CHEATER.FAKER.TROUBLEMAKER SERIES (WATTY'S 2016, FICTION AWARDS 2016, HACHETTE AUDIO 2017), JENNY ROSEN & KRISTEN MAGLONZO.
After bullies, braces, and brutal heartbreak shatters his faith in love, soon-to-be fre...
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Note: Check out kaelking12 's awesome performance of this chapter in the audiobook! This is an intense one so tune in so you don't miss out!
CHAPTER 11
Elias
Four blunts in and I can't find the buzz anymore, the light, the surface that I've always been able to soar miles and miles above.
This time, the haze isn't lifting me out of myself. It's heavy, thick, pushing down on my hands and arms, and eyelids.
I'm stuck.
Hanging in between the greenhouse and the quiet darkness that's slowly wrapping itself around me.
Holding me up. Dragging me down.
Keeping me suspended in silence.
But it doesn't comfort me.
It's choking me.
Flattening it's fingers across my mouth and nose until there's no air.
It's not supposed to feel like this.
Like falling.
Dropping into a place somewhere inside myself that I don't want to go.
Into the dark.
Smoking used to help me breathe. It used to take the pressure out of my chest and noise outta my ears.
But now I'm starved for it.
For feeling anything—hearing anything but the quiet.
Until quiet turns into sound.
An answered prayer.
A soft buzz followed by a million little vibrations disturbing the peace.
It rings through my fingers, runs up my arms, and ricochets through my skull—reminding me that I can still feel something.
The weight on my eyes eases up a little and I open them to see Josh and Trish lying across from me. Close. Way too close.
I sit up and the room sits up with me. The ceiling tilts and spins like it's stuck inside a laundry machine. I force my eyes shut again to make it stop.
And eventually, the movement does.
But the buzzing doesn't.
Once my fingers remember that they're attached to my arms, I lift up my phone and do my best to read a screen that's way too bright.
My mom's name stares back at me through the glow and I answer the phone without thinking.
I made a promise. To give Mom the basic respect of picking up her calls no matter where I am or when she needs me.
