FROM THE AWARD-WINNING AUTHORS OF THE CHEATER.FAKER.TROUBLEMAKER SERIES (WATTY'S 2016, FICTION AWARDS 2016, HACHETTE AUDIO 2017), JENNY ROSEN & KRISTEN MAGLONZO.
After bullies, braces, and brutal heartbreak shatters his faith in love, soon-to-be fre...
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CHAPTER 50
Elias
"Alright, Eli. I know you're tired of having my sweaty palms plastered over your eyeballs, but the surprise you've got coming is totally gonna blow your mind. You, ready?"
Tanner tightens his grip around half of my face, and as much as I usually like surprises, this one's starting to suck. Normally, the idea of some super secret present would have me over the moon. But Tanner can't keep a secret. He rambles about them instead. For hours. Non-stop. Until the idea of being surprised is pretty much dead in the water.
Do I know what he got me for my birthday? No.
Do I know the exact number of days, people, and how much secrecy was involved in making this present happen? Yes.
Did I want to spend breakfast watching Lacey eat instead of listening to my brother talk? Absolutely.
But, obviously, none of that happened. Caleigh, Lacey, Mom, and I got lectured to death between sips of horchata while my brother went off about how incredible he's been at planning this moment. Problem is, now that it's here, I'm not even close to excited about it anymore.
"Am I ready, Tanner? I've been ready since you brought it up at breakfast! Hurry it up already. Your hands smell like dick cheese. What the heck were you doing on the drive down here, man?"
My brother stops inching me forward and knees me in the back of the thigh hard enough to bruise. Yeah. Birthday surprise or not—he's still a douchebag.
"First off, if my hands smell, it's from the new lotion I gotta use 'cause the pool's destroying my skin. And second, what was I doing? You're gonna lecture me on where my hands have been when you popped out of your bed room with a chubby bigger than the Florida panhandle? Check yourself, before I cancel the whole car thing on you, hermano!"
Tanner sucks in a sharp breath while I shove my way out of his grip, whip around, and stare at him wide-eyed.
"Car thing? What car thing? What the heck are you—"
The whoosh and crack of my mom's hand landing square in the back of Tanner's head abruptly ends the conversation. He crumbles over like a worn out piece of paper which I absolutely would make fun of him for if his head wasn't something he had to be careful about. Usually my mom's pretty wary around him, but judging from the royal irritation plastered all over her face, she obviously doesn't care this morning.
