Missing

Go home

Tw: self deprecating thoughts, self hatred, blood, slight implied self harm, pain, and I think that's it.

"Because I was one of them"

Those six words might've just completely destroyed the relationship Virgil had built with Thomas. Virgil sank down out of sight as Thomas finished up with the video and tried his best to keep himself together so no one else would see how much that just broke him. The anxiety filled side rushed to his room, his hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets with his head down, so none of the other sides would see the tears threatening to spill.

Good job Virgil. Thomas hates you now. They all hate you now...

Before he could lock himself away in his room he felt a hand on his shoulder. Vigil almost immediately jerked away. It had taken him a while to get used to being touched, but after what just happened he couldn't bear even the thought of someone's hand coming near him.

"Kiddo are you okay?"

Great. Just what I need. Patton.

Virgil thought with an internal eye-roll.

His only response was a nod before he opened his door and locked himself inside the dark hole of despair he called his room. As soon as the lock clicked the dark side pressed his back against the wall and slid down into a sitting position with his knees curled tight to his chest. It had been forever since he had cried last. So long he had almost forgotten what it felt like. Now he could barely breathe from how heavily the tears flowed down his cheeks.

They all know. They all hate you. They never want to see you again. You're disgusting. You're filthy. You're awful. You don't deserve to live. You don't even deserve death. Death is too good for you to enjoy. You have nowhere to go. They all hate you. You never deserved their friendship. They hate you. They hate you so much.

These thoughts circled like a loop in Virgil's head to the point it physically hurt him. He let out a wail of pain, slamming his head back against the wall, heavy tears continuing to pour down his face, and the feeling of icy cold hands gripping his chest made the situation worse. Numbness mixed with pure agony was all he could feel.

Then everything went black.

...

Blood trickled from the teen boy's wrist and a bit from his head as he groggily woke up on the cold floor of his room. There was no memory of him cutting or hitting his head, but who knows what could've happened. When he blacked out he could barely remember anything, so technically anything could've happened to him.

"Oh s-shit" Virgil whispered quietly as he felt all of the blood rush from his head while sitting up. He shut his eyes tight and clutched his head in pain. A breakdown like this hadn't happened in quite some time, so it felt almost like a new experience.

Roughly ten minutes passed before Virgil noticed someone else was in the room.

"Deceit-" he shot up like a frightened cat who just saw a large Doberman and backed up close to the wall.

Deceit chuckled lightly and stood up looking at Virgil. "You missed me?"

"W-What are you doing here!? You're supp-posed to be in the dark-k palace"

"Can't I visit an old friend? It's not like anyone other than you knows I'm here, so I really don't see the problem."

Virgil opened his mouth to say something, but soon shut his mouth as a wave of pain crashed into him almost knocking him down onto the floor.

It was Deceit's natural reaction to leap forward and make sure the shorter teen didn't fall over. When they both lived in the dark palace it wasn't uncommon for Deceit to catch Virgil if he fell or slipped. It was just kinda their natural way of life. It felt a little awkward for both of them now because of the fact that Virgil was a light side.

Virgil flinched at first, but not long after he was leaning against the other for support. Despite his hatred for Deceit he still viewed him as a source of comfort because of their history. He could never go to Remus for anything, so he always went to Deceit. Occasionally he would go to Neutral Grounds and talk to Remy or Picani, but he usually was in such a bad physical and/or mental state when he decided to talk to someone, so he couldn't get all the way to Neutral Grounds.

Tears still trailed down Virgil's tear stained cheeks making him feel even more pathetic. Here he was having a breakdown after revealing the truth to Thomas, bleeding, crying, barely able to stand, and using his enemy for support. How fucking pathetic.

Deceit's cocky and slightly sinister demeanor dropped and was replaced with concern for the younger side. Their "age" difference was barely anything, but Deceit used to always use the fact that he was a little older to his advantage. The two used to get along well in the past, but ever since Virgil joined the light sides everything changed. Deceit still cared for Virgil no matter how much the two hated each other, so for the time being he was just gonna pretend nothing had ever happened between the two and that they were both still dark sides so he could care for his friend.

"Heyheyhey talk to me Virge. What happened? I haven't seen you have an attack this bad since the time you accidentally yelled at Roman and called him Remus by mistake." As he spoke he gently ran his hand through the other side's hair to calm him. It always helped in the past, so he figured it would help now.

Virgil was only able to choke out three words. "I-I told him"

Instantly Deceit understood what had happened.

"Oh my god Virgil I'm so sorry. I'm assuming they didn't react well to the news?"

The smaller side shook his head

"Well...if they don't accept you because of your past then are they really good people to be around?"

After a moments hesitation Virgil shook his head again.

There was a minute of silence between the two before Virgil spoke up.

"D-Dee?"

"Yeah V?"

"I-I wanna go home..."