Warnings: abuse, self harm etc
The first 4 weeks at Interpol were great people were nice. They helped me but towards the end of the four weeks, things started to change people started to become meaner as they saw how intelligent I really was. It brought back horrific flashbacks. And as the people grew meaner and the more I felt alone and the more my mental health got worse and the depression grew. When I get home it's usually the same thing every night. tonight was no different as I walked I to my apartment I couldn't take it anymore.
I walked straight into my bathroom and took off my shirt. I looked over to my sink where a rusted blade was laid. I liked it down at my arm. It was covered in cuts and scars but didn't care. I took the blade and I sat on the side of the bath. I was sobbing. Before long there was more cuts and blood running down my arm. I cleaned myself up and got ready for bed I decided to skip my meal and just go to bed.
It was a Thursday night. I usually call JJ at this time I thought. As grabbed my phone to ring Jj she faces timed me
"Hey Spence," she said soothingly
"hey Jj," I said
"i have a special someone who wants to talk to you," she said smiling
Then suddenly Henry popped onto the screen.
"uncle Spencer, why are you in bed it's morning time," he said happily
"well buddy, where I am in a different country the times, are different" I said
"spence, when will you come home" he said
"i don't know yet buddy" I said
"okayyy, I love you uncle spence" he said before running away
Me and jj talked for a while before I finally asked her the question I have been wanting to know
"what about Morgan," I asked
"well Spencer when he found us and we said you were gone he was mad but now there is tension between him and everyone except Garcia and well Garcia thinks everything is okay but spencer it breaks me knowing what she did to you."
"i miss you Jj" I said
"i miss you too spence"
We said our goodbyes and I went to sleep.
I woke up the next morning to see the mess I created on my arm. I pulled on a shirt and got ready for the day, I knew I was going to have a bad day so I called in sick. I couldn't deal I just want to go home, not in London I mean home back in America. I took off my shirt and put on a tee-shirt. I sat looking out the window as the rain trickled down the window. I was considering asking Emily about moving back home but I decided against it. I knew I had 2 weeks of the next two weeks I was considering going to visit everyone well nearly everyone.
I walked over to the closet where my phone was. My old phone, the bau phone. I grabbed it and went to turn it on, I wanted to get peoples phone numbers like Rossi or Hotch to keep in touch, the thing is I couldn't. I placed my phone back into the wardrobe. I was bored, alone and sad. I knew my depression had come back.
The next couple of weeks continued like this I ended up not going back to America because I didn't take anytime off. I decided that it would be better for me to surround myself in work. So that's what I did. Every night when I got home there were more cuts and scars joining my arm, the only thing I could rely on. I distanced myself from Emily we hardly spoke anymore. It was true. I was all alone in a different country.
I was laid on my bathroom floor sobbing. I was shirtless and the February weather was harsh. When I finally got the energy I pulled myself off the cold floor and sat on the edge of the bathtub. I looked at my blade then looked at my arm, my arm was dripping with blood, I knew I couldn't carry on like this but who cares. I thought about it, who does actually care, nobody that's right nobody. I started crying all over again then I heard knocking at the door. I quickly pulled on a shirt and went to the door as quietly as I can. I peered out of the peephole and saw that it was Emily.
"open up Reid I know you are there," she said
Reluctantly I opened up the door.
"please talk to me spencer," she said sitting me down on my sofa
"nothings wrong Emily," I said putting on a fake smile
"i can see that you have been crying," she said bluntly
"i just... I just miss home, I miss my mom, I miss my friends I miss my old life" I said
"Spence that it normal, I was like that okay, remember I am always here to talk, I feel like you don't even know me anymore," she said looking at me
" it been a bit hard that's all," I said putting the smile back on my face
"you look exhausted, I suggest you go to bed, I will see you tomorrow," she said smiling
"see you tomorrow," I said as I walked her to the door.
"if you ever need anything just call me okay," she said as she walked out the door
"thanks emily" I said as I closed the door.
I looked down at my shirt to see the blood starting to seep through the shirt
I'm a mess, I need to clear my head.
A/N
Hey guys it's me again and yeah I did touch the subject of self-harm here and I want to tell you that you shouldn't ever self-harm it's a painful addiction that takes lives, not intentionally but through bacteria. If you do self harm my DMS are always open here and also on Instagram (@ pretty_boy_reid) and I know from personal battles it is hard and it's bard to open up and tell people but I am here and I won't judge.
Thank you
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Criminal minds secrets
FanfictionA bunch of secrets will be revealed in this book. Don't like the ship don't read it is very simple. Also don't be a dick with nasty comments I don't own any of the criminal minds characters but their are some people I have made up
