My eyes poured as my friends wrapped me with their warm and comforting hugs.
I was wailing, my cries were unstoppable.
My heart pierced with pain.
My fingers trembled.
"B-bakit?"
"Shhh. Let it out." Cleo hushed me as she continued stroking my back. "Let it out. Don't talk muna, iiyak mo lang."
And I did, umiyak lamang ako nang umiyak. Hindi ko alam kung para saan ba ang mga luha ko...
Is it for me? For living almost 20 years in this world with full of lies?
Is it for my mother? Who's very strong and patient to bring back our happy family. But she lost in the fight. And now we're breaking.
Or for my father?
God, my Papa. He was my first love. He was my superhero. He was my knight. The only man I trusted with my whole life, disappointed me and broke my heart.
Or is it for my family? Ang pamilya na akala ko buo pa...
Pero lahat pala kasinungalingan nalang.
Halos kalahating oras din ako umiyak nang umiyak. Nang tumahan na ako ay pareho na kaming nakaupo sa kama. I folded my knees and brought it to my chest. I hugged them both before resting my chin on one of my kneecaps.
Pearl reached for my face to brush the strands of my hair. Habang nakatitig naman si Cleo sa akin. Pinagmamasdan ako ng malungkot at puno ng simpatya nyang mata.
"Thank you." My voice croaked. I cleared my throat. "For coming here. I need you both." Really...
"No problem. We are your friends, Mandy. Pupuntahan ka talaga namin. Kung ano man ang problema mo, we should not leave you alone..." Si Pearl.
"I hope you feel better soon." Cleo speaks before rubbing my arms to send me comfort.
"I will." Maiksi kong sagot. Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ako nagsimulang magkwento. "May half brother ako."
I watched my friends face twitched. They didn't say anything they just waited me to continue...
"Nalaman ko kaninang umaga. Papa was mad, Mama was trying to calm him. Iyon ang scenario na naabutan ko sa hapag. Papa was—" My voice croaked again. "Papa was badmouthing Mama. And telling her how much he regretted marrying her."
Yumuko ako nang maramdaman ang pamumuo ng panibagong luha.
"I never knew things like this. Just like what I told you before, na lahat pala ng sweetness na pinapakita nila sa akin, lahat kasinungalingan. Lahat scripted. Napakatanga ko naman. Hindi ko napansin. Pinupukpok na sa akin, hindi ko pa naramdaman."
"Nasasaktan ako dahil sa mga sinabi ni Papa. Nasasaktan ako d-dahil binigay naman ni Mama lahat, naging mabuti akong anak. Pero kulang pa rin pala."
"I never thought my life could be this dramatic." Tumawa ako ng pagak habang inangat ang tingin sa mga kaibigan.
Malungkot na tumingin si Pearl sa akin habang si Cleo naman ay naiiyak.
"Pero, sabi nyo nga. Everything will be okay. Magiging okey kami ni Mama, kaya lang... Hindi na kasama si Papa." Another tear rolled as I tried to stop myself from crying. Sumakit lamang ang lalamunan ko.
"Matatapos ang problemang ito. Aalis kami ni Mama. Magsisimula kami. Papa will live with his new family... Iyon ang plano ni Mama. Ang aalis kami. Susustentuhan pa rin naman ako ni Papa sa pag-aaral ko, hanggang doon nalang." Hilaw akong ngumiti sa kanila.
I didn't know I was crying again. Kaya isang mahabang yakap muli ang natanggap ko sa kanila.
"Kung saan kayo mapapanatag... We'll be here for you and Tita." Pearl said softly.
Cleo still hold onto me kahit na natapos na nila akong yakapin. She's loud sometimes, but she knows how to listen. Hindi man sya vocal sa mga problema nya sa buhay pero alam kong parati syang makikinig sa akin. Magkaiba sila ni Pearl, she's the sweetest friend. No issues. Minsan missing in action pero parating nandyan pag kailangan. Lumaki sya sa isang conservative at religious na pamilya kaya pinalaki syang ganoon din. Pareho kaming naniniwala sa dasal. Nakapagpinagdasal mo, ibibigay at ibibigay sa iyo.
"Alam ba ito ni Juan?" Cleo suddenly asked me.
"No." Umiling ako.
"Why? He needs to know." Lumayo sya sa akin habang pinagmamasdan ako.
"I-I can't. J-just give me time. Sasabihin ko din, pero hindi muna ngayon. Kailangan nya magfocus sa laro. I can't let him distracted from my own problems."
"Okay, I understand. Wag mo lang patatagalin, Juan needs to know what you're facing... Kailangan nya rin malaman ito. Believe me." Pearl squeezed my hand.
I nodded before sighing.
"How about...let's watch a movie?" Aya ko sa kanila. Trying to lighten the mood.
Pareho naman silang masayang tumango. But I know they just want to reciprocate the mood I wanna give.
Sa sobrang occupied ng utak ko I forgot to text Juan. Nakalimutan ko ang kamustahin sya. We watched Frozen 1 and 2. At umabot kami ng umaga sa panunuod ng BuzzFeed Unsolved. Ni hindi ko maalala ko kung paano umibang ang genre ng pinapanood namin, pero hindi na ako nagreklamo.
It was quarter to four ng mapagdesisyonan naming matulog nalang. They stayed in my room at nasa iisang kama kami natulog.
Magtatanghali na kami ng makagising. Pagkatapos maligo at kumain ay nagkayayaan kaming mag spa magkakaibigan.
We prepared a bit at kumain na rin ng light meal para may laman ang tiyan namin.
After our spa session, pare-pareho na kaming relaxed. Gone the sadness in my system. Napalitanan ng magaang mood.
Naglalakad lakad kami sa loob ng mall ng biglang magsalita si Cleo.
"Cake for the celebration." She giggled on my side.
"For?" Nagtataka kong lingon sa kaniy habang inaayos ang kulay pink na designer's bag sa balikat.
"Duh! Ang happy mo na. And...Pearl her is already taken...Let us celebrate."
Gulat kong nilingon si Pearl na ngingiti ngiti sa kabila kong gilid.
"Really?"
"Oo, Mands. Kahapon lang din. Pero hindi ko na sinabi since—"
"Congratulations, Pearl. I'm happy for you." Pinutol ko ang pagsasalita nya para yakapin sya ng mahigpit. "Thank you rin kasi you stayed with me yesterday."
"Don't mention it, Mands. What are friends for?" Cleo smugly smiled at me.
I rolled my eyes bago umangkla sa kanilang braso.
Sinusundan kami ng tingin ng ibang mamimili dahil na rin sa ingay namin habang naglalakad. But we never look back at them.
Papasok na kami sa cake store na nirecommend ni Pearl nang biglang may mahagip ng tingin ko.
Fuck!
