Realize That It's Gone

Chapter Eighteen

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 1860

Author's Note: Enjoy the chapter :)

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I hastily scribbled down a new song lyric that popped into my head before returning to my keyboard, testing out another set of melodies that I hadn't been able to find a song for yet. My head bobbed slightly as I played, trying to focus on both playing the music and carefully listening to and pairing it with lyrics in my head. The last few days had been a whirlwind of songwriting for me.

I had talked to Y/N sporadically since my confession. It was mostly her texting just to make sure I was doing ok, to which I gave the same answer each time: I was doing fine, there was no rush for her to talk to me, and to let me know if there was anything I could do. Our conversations generally ended shortly after that. Despite her reassurance that everything was fine, there was still a part of me deep down that worried I had ruined things for good.

My phone started to vibrate against my keyboard, pulling me out of the songwriting trance I had been in just moments before. My stomach dropped as soon as I read Y/N's name on the caller ID. This was the first time that she had called me since, well, everything.

I cleared my throat before answering. "Hey."

"Hi, Tyler."

"What's going on?"

"I was just wondering if we could talk about what happened. In person."

I turned to look at the clock on my bedside table. It was almost ten, which seemed late for getting together, but I wasn't about to let this discussion be put off any longer.

"Yeah, that's great. Do you want me to come over or-?"

"I was thinking we could go up to the stargazing spot? We haven't been in awhile and it's quiet up there."

"Um, yeah. For sure. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Can you?"

"Of course."

"Ok, I'll get ready, then. Let me know when you're on your way."

"I always do."

"Later, Ty."

"Bye."

I quickly wrote down the last few lyrics and melodies stuck in my head before getting up and changing into clothes. Tonight had the potential to be one of the best nights of my life.

Or one of the worst.

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The car was silent. Or at least, the conversation was. Music was playing quietly, but neither of us were singing along. Y/N was staring out her window with her feet kicked up on the dash. The only thing she had said to me so far was a hello when she first got into the car. I had tried to make conversation after that, but it quickly became apparent that she wasn't in a talking mood. Not yet, anyway.

The small parking lot on top of the hill was empty, making it easy for me to back into a spot. Y/N wordlessly reached into the back and grabbed one of the blankets that I had brought. I shut the car off, making sure to put my keys in my pockets before I accidentally locked them inside, and grabbed my own blanket. She had already gotten out of the car.

"Sorry this isn't as good as your brother's truck," I said as I hopped up onto the trunk. My feet dangled a foot or so above the ground.

"Better than sitting on the dirt," Y/N said as she brought her blanket around her shoulders. For a second, I could have sworn that she was smiling.