Book Three - Part One: Two Worlds (Prelude)

Chapter Four

"Loki?" Nienna asks as she lets herself into Loki's chambers, he stands in front of his fire, staring at the flames, his body tense, shoulders rigid. Something about his mood is off. "I..I've been looking everywhere for you" she offers as she closes the door behind her.

"Here I am" he states flatly.

"I have some news" she swishes her dress slightly, smiling away to herself. "I..well...Prince Neremy of Alfheim has asked me to marry him...and...I said yes"

"I heard" Loki admits, still not turning to her. She watches him a moment.

"You did?" she asks him, he nods. Truthfully, he was passing the gardens and saw them together, spied a little, listened to them talking. He wishes he hadn't been witness to their moment. Part of him blames himself that she agreed to that. Because he couldn't pull his head out of his own ass to tell her how he feels. "Who told you?"

"It doesn't matter" he answers.

"Well...What do you think?"

"What do I think?" he asks her, this time turning to her, trying to hide the pain in his eyes from her, knowing that she is to marry another man, to live and love and be with another man. "Why does it matter what I think?"

"Because you are my friend, my closest friend, and your opinion means a lot to me" She answers with a frown. "What's is the matter with you?"

"Nothing" he answers, she raises an eyebrow at him.

"Loki..." she pushes slightly.

"I don't like him" Loki admits quickly, she raises an eyebrow at him.

"Neremy?" she asks. "Why?" he stares at her, he has no good reason, no explanation that he can give that won't give him and his feelings away. He takes a breath and looks away from her.

"Is that what you want?" he asks her, steering the conversation away from him. "To marry him? To...move to Alfheim? To....have his children?"

"I want to be happy" she answers quietly.

"And you're not here?" he counters. "You're not happy in a palace, with everything given to you on a silver platter" he motions to her. "Latest fashion, best tutors...jewels and gifts" he steps closer to her. "You...that's not even royal blood, not....of nobility.....You're just some baby that they felt sorry for..." she takes a breath, surprised by this outburst.

"Loki" she whispers.

"Go right ahead, marry the elf" Loki snaps at her. "See if I care" she stares at him a moment before clenching her jaw.

"Very well" she whispers as she hangs her head, refusing to cry in front of him, she takes a breath and then holds her head up high, her eyes still threatening but she controls it. "Goodbye, your highness" She states and then walks away, Loki's eyes widen with the realization of what he's just done. He's just dismissed his best friend from his life. The woman he loves. He's sent her off to be with another man instead of fighting for her to stay here with him.

"Nienna" he pleads as he grabs her arm to stop her. "I..." he struggles, she takes a breath and turns to him, shaking his hand from her arm.

"I understand," she tells him, he frowns at her. "Pets are always cuter when they're younger, right?" she offers sadly, he stares at her.

"You can not...you can not think that I think of you like that...That is not..." She shakes her head and takes a step away from him as he reaches for her.

"It seems we have outgrown one another" She states clutching her hands to her stomach, trying to remain poised. "And it's time for me to move on" She shakes her head and then leaves him alone, Loki runs his fingers through his hair and lets out a shaky breath, tears gathering in his eyes.

...............

It's weeks later when Loki sees Nienna next, he regretted his conversation with her immediately after she walked away, he's tried to find her since, but it's like she is actively avoiding him. He doesn't blame her. He will never forgive himself for pushing her away like that. He finds her in the gardens, her favorite place to draw, Iorek at her side. She looks exhausted. Her eyes all red and distant. And he did that to her. He hurt her. Loki clenches his fist at his side as he hides himself to listen to them talking.

................

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Iorek asks of Nienna as she stares at the dying floral bush at her side, he is aware she's been withdrawn the last few weeks. He's actually seen more of Loki than he has of Nienna. The boy is obviously missing her like crazy. He goes to her favorite spots to wait for her to visit, but she never does. She hadn't left her chambers unless it is to talk with Frigga about wedding plans, or spending time with Neremy, until this moment and she is only here with him because he actually dragged her out of her room. She looks exhausted. Emotionally drained. Pained. She is missing Loki just as much as he is missing her.

"It is what is best" She answers flatly as she sets her hands in her lap, clutching them together.

"That is not what I asked you" he whispers, she glances at him.

"Pets don't get a say in their fate, Iorek" she argues.

"Do not lessen their part in your life, or yours in theirs because you are angry and upset with Loki" he scolds her. "Frigga raised you, trained you, Thor is your friend, always has been, and Loki....." Nienna looks away from him and takes a breath. He stops, knowing she is too upset at Loki for him to finish that sentence.

"I cannot stay here" she admits leaning against his side.

"Then....I will go with you" he tells her, she looks at him surprised. "I would follow you anywhere" Iorek assures her. "I am with you, no matter where you go" she gives him a sad smile and nods before she starts crying.

"I never thought I'd leave Asgard" she admits. "But I never thought it would no longer feel like home" She blinks sending tears down her cheek. "Like I have no one left" she whispers sadly.

"You have me" Iorek assures her. "Always" she nods and leans against his shoulder, her fingers clutching to his fur. Iorek meets Loki's eyes across the garden. Loki looks down and away from them. He's really hurt her. He needs to fix this. Fix them. He takes a deep breath and steps into the garden, just as Neremy walks into the garden at the other side, Loki's heart pounds in his chest, he can't talk to her with him there. He needs to be alone with her to explain.

"Nienna" Loki states, calling for her before Neremy can. She appears startled by Loki's appearance as he moves closer to her. "I must talk with you.....Please, I need to talk to you" he whispers, his eyes pleading with her, his eyes begging her to choose him, to stay here with him. Because he needs her to. He just needs her to stay here. With him. He raises an eyebrow in question. Her eyes shining with her tears. Neremy reaches Nienna's side but her eyes remain on Loki.

"Nienna?" Neremy asks her, she takes a breath. Neremy takes her hand and she turns to him, turning her back on Loki. Loki hangs his head, his heartbreaking in his chest. Because he knows she will choose Neremy. Loki can't even tell her how he feels. Even after all these hundreds of years, he still can't admit that he is in love with his best friend. He doesn't deserve her. He walks away from her. Leaves her to her new relationship. To her future as Princess.....as Queen at the side of Neremy. Iorek watches Loki slink off.