Book Three - Part One: Two Worlds (Prelude)

Chapter Ten

Loki lingers behind Nienna who stands looking down at the body of her husband, her fingers stroking through his hair. Loki shouldn't be here, but she has been avoiding him since she left the healers. She's avoided everyone. He knows she is grieving, but she shouldn't be alone.

"Nienna?" Loki whispers, she sniffles and touches Neremy's face, he looks so peaceful, so calm, despite being dead. She was happy with him. Despite that Loki had basically ended their friendship with her marriage, despite not seeing him in years, she was finally happy with her husband. They were even talking about starting their own family. She was going to be a mother. She would have been a good mother. But she'll never have that now. Loki moves to her side and lets his eyes scan over her face, she looks so distraught, so in pain, and he doesn't know how to fix this but he wants to try. "It is not your fault" he whispers threading his fingers with hers at her side, she looks down at the motion before she pulls her hand away from him.

"I have not forgotten" she scolds. "How it was in the end for us" she lifts her eyes to his. "We cannot simply go back to how it was, how we were" she folds her arms over her chest, stopping either of them from touching one another. "You broke my heart" She admits, Loki hangs his head. "And what was left of it, died with him" She looks down at Neremy, her lip quivers as she begins to cry. "Now if you will excuse me, I would like to sit with my husband"

"Little Bear" Loki whispers.

"Never call me that again" she snaps at him, Loki stares at her. "You made your stance on our friendship perfectly clear when you decided not to attend my wedding, when you have not joined your parents, or you brother for visits, you do not get to use that nickname anymore"

"I am sorry" he tells her.

"And I do not believe you" she counters. "You are the God of lies, after all"

"I have never lied to you" he argues, she laughs humorlessly.

"All you've ever done is lie to me" she turns to face him. "You don't think that I knew how you felt about me" Loki stares at her. "You spent years keeping it to yourself, lying to me that all I ever was to you....was a friend" He hangs his head. "If you'd told me....none of this would have happened, and they would not be dead"

"You cannot know that" He argues quickly. "This attack might still have happened..."

"They were trying to kill me" She points out. "I heard them, they were looking for me, they were there for me....because I was no longer under the protection of Asgard they thought it would be easy....they slaughtered everyone in the palace to get to me. None of that would have happened if I had been here. If you had just told me the truth....if you had given me a sliver of hope that something could have happened between us even if nothing ever would....that's all it would have taken for me stay" They stare at one another. Loki knows this. He does. But he was scared she didn't feel the same way, he was afraid of his own feelings. Of hurting her. Of getting hurt. "All you had to do was be honest with me...." She finishes sadly. "But you couldn't even do that" Loki hangs his head. "I thought you were my friend" she accuses. "But I was just another of you pranks"

"No" he is quick to argue. "Never. It was never that. You are my friend" he assures her. "And I love you"

"It's too late for that" she whispers as she walks past him. Loki lets out a breath and looks at Neremy.

............

Nienna sits against Iorek's chest, his head resting on a large pillow, a blanket wrapped around him, he is still healing, wrapped in bandages. She has come out of it physically fine, her healing having kicked in once the adrenaline disappeared, or perhaps her subconscious had heard and listened to Loki. She knows she still has to suffer through a funeral and then the following months and years without him. Neremy came to be her companion, her friend, and she got him killed simply for existing. How can she ever forgive herself for this?

...............

Nienna is given her old chambers whilst she is in Asgard, whilst she decides what she is to do next. Frigga has assured her that she can stay as long as she needs to. That this is and always will be her home. But she's not sure it feels like that anymore. She is not sure where she belongs now. Asgard and Alfheim broke her heart. She stands in the doorway and watches Thor as he heads towards her. He pauses noting the expression on her face. She looks exhausted, emotionally drained and lonely. Thor waves at her, she stares at him before she disappears inside and closes her chamber doors, Thor lowers his hand and sighs watching as blue tendrils of energy wrap around the door, preventing anyone from even knocking. She wishes to be alone and he doubts that Loki's magic could even get past her energy.

...............

Frigga drops into the seat next to Loki in the library. Loki isn't attempting to read this time, he just knew it would be empty this time of the day. Frigga knew she would find him in here.

"This is all my fault" Loki whispers. "I did this to her"

"Loki" Frigga warns. "You did not force the Jotun to invade Alfheim, you did not force them to attack the royal family. This is not your fault. She knows that"

"But if I had said something years ago, before she left...If I had just been honest with her...."

"You do not know what would have happened" Frigga argues, Loki lets out a breath and looks away from her. "She will mend and she will forgive you, just give her time to settle and for the hurt to lessen"

"What if she never does?" Loki asks her.

"She will...but it is going to hurt for a long time, you have to be patient"

"I have waited 900 years" Loki looks at her. "Patience I know"