Book Three - Part One: Two Worlds (Prelude)

Epilogue - Many Years Later

In the days, weeks, months, years after Neremy's death, Nienna changes. It is only logical that she does. She had her entire life ripped away from her. Her husband. Her future. She stands flanking Frigga. Her place now. Back to being Asgard's ward. Gone are the bright colors she was known for. In place, she favors red and black. As dark as she can get. Her accessories all Alfiem inspired. A constant reminder of what her existence caused. Loki glances at her from where he stands with Thor and his...friends. Thor's friends more than Loki's. They just tolerate Loki's presence for Thor's sake. Loki knows that they pity him too. Knowing that he lost Nienna. That he lost his only true friend. Iorek shifts next to Nienna, her fingers reaching into his fur. He's been her constant and most reliable friend through her entire life. But he is worried about her too. His eyes looking up at her with such concern. Because he doesn't like this version of her. She's too quiet. Too withdrawn. She doesn't do anything she used to love. All the joy and love has gone from her life. Snuffed out. And it's only getting worse. As time passes, she falls deeper into a black hole of pain. Frigga touches Nienna's arm, the two of them sharing a look before Frigga walks away. Nienna takes a deep breath and smoothes her hand over her dress. Her features schooled and trained into an emotionless mask. Loki's eyes turn sad as he watches her.

.............

Loki finds Nienna in their library alcove, she's curled up with a blanket. They haven't spoken since the day she returned to Asgard, years ago now. They see one another, because they live in the same palace, but she has gone out of her way to keep a line between them. She looks terrible here. No longer in public she lets her sadness take over. Not that she would look anything but at this time. She's still in mourning. Even now. Even after all the years that have passed. She lost her path. Her husband. Her new family. Everything. And she still feels guilty too. That feeling that everything is her fault. He looks to the book in his hand and then sighs a little. He doesn't know why he came up here. For some form of comfort in the old. And he didn't expect to find her up here already. She doesn't look up. Doesn't acknowledge that he is even there. But he sits at her side anyway. Neither saying a word. Loki opens his book in his lap. They might not be on speaking terms right now but he can at least let her know that he is here for her, in whatever capacity she needs. It is silent between them. For minutes. She, surprisingly, is the one to break it.

"I love you too" She admits, Loki lifts his eyes from his book, her eyes flicker to him. "I have always loved you" Loki nods a little, he knows. "But it doesn't change anything...." She adds. "Whatever we were before....we can never go back" He looks down and closes his eyes. "Too much...." she looks away and takes a breath. "Too much pain" she looks back at him. "I am sorry"

"No" He stops her. "No, I am" she brushes her hand over her cheek. "I should have said something when I had the chance....I was a coward" he admits, she sniffles a little. "I was scared that....you would not..." he struggles with this, with admitting his feelings for her. To admit that she makes him weak. "You would not share my feelings. I was blinded by that fear. I ruined everything. I lost my best friend. And I cannot change that, I know...." He rubs his cheek on his shoulder to remove tears from his cheek. "I miss you" he admits.

"Loki" she starts.

"I know" he assures her. "We cannot be friends again, I just....wanted you to know" she plucks at the blanket in her lap. He lets out a breath and nods. He can give her something. And she loves this alcove. And she did find it first. "If you need to be away from me" He starts softly. "Then you can have the alcove" he tells her, she shakes her head.

"No" She argues. "No, you can, I won't be staying much longer" he frowns at her.

"You are leaving? Asgard?" she nods.

"Yes. It is time for me to go" She admits.

"When?" he whispers sadly.

"I will see out Thor's coronation" She answers. "And after....I will be leaving" He stares at her.

"Nienna" He pleads.

"It will be done, Loki" She stops him. "I will go....I cannot stay here. There are too many memories...Too much hurt. I need a fresh start...somewhere far away"

"But my mother..." Loki starts. He knows how much Nienna means to Frigga, how much Frigga loves Nienna.

"Frigga knows" Nienna tells him, Loki lets out a breath. "It was her idea" Loki makes a wounded noise, because he can't believe that Frigga would do this to him, to them, when she knows how they feel about one another. "She thinks me taking some time for myself, away from Asgard and Alfiem and all the reminders would do me some good...."

"Will you come back?" he looks at her.

"I do not know" She admits as she stands taking her blanket with her. "I wish you well though" he stares up at her. "Hope you get....everything you want to make you happy" she takes a breath and then walks away from him. Loki's eyes follow her. He won't get everything he needs to make him happy. Because it just walked away from him. And Loki knows that if she leaves, when she leaves this time....she will never return. He will never see her again. He buries his head in his hands as he cries. He has cried so much over her. He can't keep doing this. He can't have her. He needs to accept that. That whatever they may have been, is over, and can never be repaired. He lifts his head. Something harder in his eyes now.

' Nienna will return.......'