His crys went from loud to quiet within a long two hours until I could hear him begin to snore. I sat outside his door knowing better then to enter. He didn't want me there tonight but I had to make sure he stopped crying. the moment I heard that he was fast asleep I stood up going inside and sat at the foot of his bed. Something told me I shouldn't disappear tonight but I desperately wanted to. I wanted him to be happy. So I took my pills that night.
A few hours passed of listening to my lover I began to realize I couldn't leave. I loved jack Avery and there wasn't anyone in the world I cared about besides him. Though he put me through tons of stress.
I didn't like the emotions he made me feel. I was sad, angry and worst of all confused. I hated it so much because I've never wanted this. I never wanted to feel dependent yet I did. I felt as if I needed someone who didn't even love me.
I didn't want to be in love for a reason it was damn torture.
I felt my body beginning to tremble within a few minutes. I couldn't escape my own thoughts. "Kill me please." I muttered. I was so defeated and my mind was at war.
I knew why my mind was at war. It was my pills kicking in finally.
"are you really feeling that way again?" Jacks voice spoke up. I didn't realize he woke up. I didn't look at him tough. I refused to look at him.
He grabbed my arm and stood up dragging me outside his room shutting his door once I was out. I lay my hand against his door my eyes on the floor. He hated me I bet. Moments later he opened the door with his shoes on and a hoodie he grabbed my hand dragging me to the door. I put on my shoes as well confused.
he took my to my car getting in the drivers seat. "You're feeling trapped, aren't you?" He spoke up as he began to drive.
I nodded.
"Let's fix that then."
_
The dock was where we ended up. The last time we been here was after prom back in May. It was now December. Things were better after prom. It was when our love felt new.
"Get out and go sit down. I'll be back." Jack said giving my shoulder a push. I nodded getting out as soon as I did jack drove away. I knew in my heart he wasn't coming back. This was it. I stood at the end of the dock looking into the water.
I should just fall in.
but I sat at the edge. I couldn't see much in the pitch black of the night. There was only one lamp near by illuminating the smallest amount of the dock where I sat. After ten minutes jack came back getting out the car. He sat beside me after setting something down.
I looked behind me to see my favorite radio that I had lost after prom night and jack was putting in an audiotape. "The book is called 'call me by your name.' it's a better read then Romeo and Juliet."
I nodded as he picked up the blanket he brought and put it around the two of us.
"I haven't said it latley but I hope you know I still love you as much as the day I met you. You're still my everything no matter what happens. We were meant to be." He kissed my cheek but I turned kissing his mouth.
we stayed in out his for awhile.
"I love you Zach herron. I promise I'll say it more."
"I like you too lover." I said pulling out a cigarette. I think jack Avery was in love with me again.
____________________________
two updates in a day?! Crazy!
Go check out my book hate for you
Also new cover for the homies
¡Ay! Esta imagen no sigue nuestras pautas de contenido. Para continuar la publicación, intente quitarla o subir otra.
