the night was still young I noticed as I took a drag from my cigarette. I looked out the window of my room with a frown listening to the small sounds of things passing by. At this moment I wouldn't mind jack talking my ear off. He left me constantly and not only was I becoming tired of it I was becoming upset about it. I didn't like that I had to feel emotions because of him I wanted all of my emotions to be controlled. I took my pills to keep my emotions under control but yet still had trouble when he wasn't around. Maybe there was a lack of something in my life.
I didn't know what it was because I had already had friends as in Austin and Gabbie. What could I be missing? I had love because jack claimed he loved me daily. I exhaled heavily throwing the cigarette out the window with my eyebrows furrowed. I didn't want to feel empty especially now having a mid term coming up soon. I turned over looking at Austin who sat on the floor of my room a pencil in hand as he moved it across white paper.
I wouldn't admit to him that he was good at that because all my compliments were supposed to be dedicated to jack only. "Now I'm not good at reading your thoughts but I don't think you're starring at me because you like my art." Austin spoke up looking up from his paper his eyebrow raised. "I'm missing something in my life." I commented truthfully. I was afraid if I had this conversation with jack it might offend him thinking he wasn't enough.
"I've got love I guess, I've got a job and a place to live. I've got about as many friends as I could ever need. Meaning you and Gabbie and that's a lot. I've got money.."I said shaking my head dissatisfied and putting the cigarette between my lips. I was annoyed at my brain once more making me long for something I probably didn't need.
"What do you do in your free time?" Austin asked. "I-" I began but stopped. I didn't actually do anything in my free time at all. I didn't talk to anyone latley besides Austin and jack. Sometimes I sat around and looked outside it took a walk around the park. I listened to audio books that jack had just started leaving on my desk. "You're lacking a hobby. You need to discover what you like." Austin smiled standing up."let's go find out about yourself." He approached me grabbing my cigarette and putting it out in the ash trey motioning me to follow. I turned my head away from him my eyes shifting to the floor.
I didn't want to discover myself. I didn't like who I was and I didn't want to get to terms with the horrible, selfish person I was. I was so terrible of a person i doubted jack even loved me. 'I fucking hate destiny.' I recalled jacks words that echoed in my head. he didn't even love me, so why would I want to know someone jack didn't love?
"Cmon I promise it won't be scary. You've got to know what you like in order to be happy. If you can't be happy for yourself think about John your boyfriend." He smiled grabbing my hand. I rolled my eyes at the word 'John' that wasn't his name.
Austin's heart was always in the right place.
our hands felt natural being intertwined as he lead me down the stairs and out the door where he stopped suddenly. I looked at the grey sky. It was bound to rain. We were met with jack who's eyes wandered to our hands and Austin slipped his out of mine. Silence was shared between the three of us for a few moments and jack bit his lip. "What are you doing Zach?" His voice seemed upset. I wondered if I missed something in his day and now he was upset as a result. I would have to ask why later.
"I'm discovering myself and what I like. I'll see you later." I said simply walking around him.
I turned around to see jack confused and angry and Austin hadn't moved. He was now talking to jack. It was odd because the two haven't met. "He means he needs to find a hobby. I'm sorry i didn't mean to hold his hand like that I was trying to get him out of the house." Austin apologized and jack nodded lowering his head. "Sometimes I just don't get him." Jack said but his back was towards me. He lifted his hand to his face.
Was he crying again?
Austin put his hand on his shoulder and lead him in the house leaving me alone outside.
A few drops of water hit my face. I began to believe it was jack who started the rain.
___________________________ 10 votes for a new chapter Short. I have work today sadly.
ओह! यह छवि हमारे सामग्री दिशानिर्देशों का पालन नहीं करती है। प्रकाशन जारी रखने के लिए, कृपया इसे हटा दें या कोई भिन्न छवि अपलोड करें।
