thirty eight

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GROUP NAME: you killed kenny you bastard
GROUP MEMBERS: RYDER, PETER, FINN, MOLLY, GINA, MICHELLE, NED

___________

MOLLY
guess what WHORES

MOLLY
we FUCKING graduated

FINN
no more pacer test!!!

GINA
no more 6 am rise
and shines

NED
No more of Mr. Harrington
ranting to AP Environmental
about the importance of
rats and his recent divorce

FINN
omg guys wait

FINN
kahoot :(

MICHELLE
i am not going to miss that
hell hole of a cave filled with
rich white boys who wear
shorts and mid calf nike
socks in the winter

GINA
or the sophomores who
stick their lanyard out
of their pocket so that
everyone knows they
can drive after (2) days

MOLLY
i sure as hell ain't gonna
miss ms hawkin riding
my ass about doing
the homework

MOLLY
did i ever do it? no, but
get off my ass shelley im
only here because i need
to learn how to make
bank

NED
Bold of you to assume that
any of us know how to
deal with money

PETER
i still dont know how to
fill out a check

PETER
what is a tax????

MICHELLE
im framing you for
tax fraud

PETER
jokes on you because i
can't even read

PETER
what up im jared im 19

RYDER
im gonna miss our lunch
table and how everyday
ned would ask us
something that's painfully
obvious

RYDER
(i.e. didn't you guys hear
about the economy crash
of 2008? crazy shit)

RYDER
(i.e. just learned about
lincoln's death :( don't
talk to me today im
upset)

MOLLY
or also us roasting the
absolute shit out of
parker

PETER
alright well

PETER
my years of being tormented
are finally done

MICHELLE
stupid of you to assume
that people won't clown
your ass in college

PETER
sometimes the truth doesn't
need to be said michelle

NED
Don't worry buddy, Goat
will always love you

PETER
:)

PETER
im cured

GINA
so who's going to the
after party

MOLLY
if y'all aren't going then
im actually going to sell
parker to the chinese
mafia in exchange for
California rolls

PETER
seems like a fair trade

FINN
im going and im wearing
my crimson red sparkling
boots and nobody but
lady gaga can stop me

FINN
forgot you guys aren't gay
lmao my bad

GINA
i think it would be fun
if we all went. even for
a little bit

GINA
i mean.....it IS the last
senior party :)

MICHELLE
im only going if im
allowed to steal

GINA
it's not my place i
don't care how much
you wanna steal

PETER
why not i'll go

FINN
peter parker??? at a party??
sjsjs the surprise

PETER
hey i can party

FINN
yeah, when there's a piñata
and face paint involved

RYDER
of course im going because
i wanna finally punch
flash in the fucking face
and jason and matt and
all those little dicked
bastards

PETER
woo!!!! that's my
girlfriend!!!!

PETER
look at her go!

MICHELLE
i'll help make a voodoo
doll of them :)

NED
Witchcraft

MICHELLE
this isn't 1693, ned,
witchcraft is a trend
nowadays

MOLLY
besides those daft witted
cunts need a cactus up
the ass to see what pricks
they really are

GINA
violence is the answer!

NED
No!

FINN
violence solves everything!

NED
No!!!!!!

NED
Actually hmmm lmao
it kinda does but idk

PETER
omg you've grown up

PETER
hear thee hear thee

PETER
ned leeds has finally
acknowledged violence

RYDER
congratulations! on
finally discovering what
violence means!

RYDER
we're so proud

NED
OMG I love you guys!!
Currently crying in a
Starbucks

MICHELLE
on that note im gonna
go take 37 shots of bleach

MOLLY
make it 38





____
author's note
sorry gang i be slackin ....,, this senioritis be like 😳

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