thirteen [crying in halloween]

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The dark is so full,

It was so full of the laughter of children, and the teenagers who were walking around the neighborhood

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It was so full of the laughter of children, and the teenagers who were walking around the neighborhood.

I knew they were celebrating with nonsense. My school threw a party but I never showed up. And I don't belong.

Jennie Kim, you must be shining like the little butterfly that found its favorite spot. In between a crowd full of people, he would be your Joker, and you would be the princess who needed a saving.

Meanwhile, I was here - PJs on, with a book on my lap, listening to the classics, hoping my feeling won't be for anything.

I would read, and ignore the fireworks outside.

A blanket would cover me from the cold, and I slowly fall into wondering, if you were feeling cold or he was at least warming you, from what was so deep.

Hot chocolate with the feeling of October ending, made me feel at ease.

They liked the feeling of horror - but I knew somewhere out there, you felt scared to be in the middle of the monsters.

My eyes are on the clock: 11 PM.

The clock points,
But time points at fate,
As I watch the door.

The bell would ring, and my palms all sweaty. I push the book to the side. And walk down the stairs, hold the mug close, and open the door. Expecting one of these teenagers, but it was you.

Jennie Kim was standing on my doorstep, eyes all puffy with the mascara all ruined. And I swore at that moment, that maybe the heavens listened.

"Can you let me in?". She asked, with a hopeful whisper.

I took a deep breath, refusing to lash at you. And maybe my heart refused the idea of shutting you out, this time.

I nodded and pushed the door open to let you in, your body was shaking.

Awkwardly I smiled, and motioned for you to take the stairs, saying I will follow you.

I welcome you into my room, expecting a burst of sarcastic laughter that could come from you. But your eyes didn't look cold.

Jennie, why were you so scared?

Her body was still shaking from the cold, the fragile woman looked at my hand, mentally I facepalmed and offered the mug of hot chocolate.

Hesitation was written over your face but I nodded and reminded you that I wasn't like the rest.

"Why were you crying?". I ask and sit in bed, next to you.

The next thing I know, was your arms being wrapped around me, making me feel the warmth that I was dying to feel for the days I couldn't live, without seeing your face.

"Just hug me".

I gently rub your back, your soft sobs making my heart break a little, only to be healed by your warmth - and by your strawberry scent.

A princess doesn't cry.

Jennie, Halloween doesn't deserve your tears.

Please, don't cry.

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