Exes With Feelings (h.s)

o n e

L i l y R o s e

I had gotten the call this morning from my good friend, James. How was I meant to prepare for this within less than 4 hours notice? I was scheduled to be on the Late Late Show this evening to promote my new film, but he has informed me that he won't be hosting tonight: instead it would be the one and only Harry Styles. The phone almost dropped out of my hand when I heard his name - it had been a year since I'd seen him. A very very long year. We hadn't had any contact since that night in our - his - London apartment when we both sat and cried for hours, other than me texting him to see if I could pick my stuff up while he was at work the following week. And now I'm supposed to see him tonight? Not only am I seeing him, he's going to be hosting a show that I'm appearing in and he's going to ask me a bunch of questions in front of an audience who, no doubt, know all about us and our history.

Ignoring the nerves settling in my stomach, I grabbed my bag and my keys and walked out of my apartment into the black car that was waiting for me outside. Once I was sat comfortably in the back seat, my driver Carter spoke up, "Are you ready, Miss?"

I paused at the question, seeing the much deeper meaning to it than he had probably originally intended, "Ready as I can be."

With that response, he started driving and I stared out of the window as the trees and cars raced by. It reminded me of the thoughts racing through my mind... Harry. Is he still the same man that I remember? Is he going to hold a grudge for me since I left? Or worst of all, is he going to pretend that nothing ever happened between us? I hoped not. I needed to calm myself down - that was something that I was still learning to do. You see, whenever I used to get upset or worked up, it would always be Harry who would relax me. Without him, I've had to do it myself. Creating myself a distraction was the thing that seemed to work the most. My eyes worked furiously, searching the car to find anything that would grab my attention. Finally, my eyes landed on Carter and the tinsel that lined his dashboard.

"Are you doing anything nice for Christmas with your family, Carter?"

"Certainly, Miss," he started to tell me all about him and his wife buying their children a great big drum kit to put in their bedroom - I'm sure they will regret that purchase after a few days!

About 1 hour later, the CBS sign came into view and the nerves in my stomach soon returned. I would see him in only a matter of minutes. Carter pulled up right in front of the doors to the buildings and walked me through the reception to help sign me in. The lady at the desk smiled at me and stood up attentively to show me to the main dressing room where all guests and crew members would wait for the show to begin. With each footstep, the lump in my throat grew. Could I do this? The bright lights in the corridor were blinding, making me feel as if I were about to be sick.

The lady, whose name tag read 'Susan', must've noticed the pale colour my skin had turned as she asked, "Are you okay, Miss?" and offered me a sympathetic smile. I could tell she knew why I seemed off. Who in this damn city didn't know about our breakup? Nobody. It was in the magazines for months. Seeing the headlines made me feel so awful that I couldn't even walk into newsstands. She was looking at me, waiting for my answer, so I simply nodded. "We're here."

As we edged closer to the door, I heard a shuffling sound come from inside. I must've looked as if I'd seen a ghost. With one last breath, we opened the door and walked inside. Everyone was there... well not everyone. People who I had previously met last time I was on the show stood up to welcome me, and the other guests greeted me kindly. Still, no sign of green eyes.

"Lily! It's so awesome to see you." smiled Reg, quickly embracing me in a hug.

"You too, Reg! I missed you."

He brought me over to a small table at the other end of the room and offered me a drink. I gratefully accepted a bottle of water and took a quick glance of the room. Purple sofas lined each wall and people had segregated into different groups: the guest stars stood in one corner while the staff stood in another. It was when Reg was telling me about something that had happened at work the other day when I heard a familiar accent say my name...

"Lil, hey."

This was the moment that I had been thinking about since I walked out of the house this morning. His hair was longer than it had been, but only slightly. His clothes were different, more unique than they had been before. I liked them. His eyes were the same emerald green, but something about them was different. They seemed darker...

I looked up at him and as we stared at each other, I felt all of my anxiety flood away. It was as though nothing had ever happened and we were still two people basking in each other's presence.

"Hi, H. How have you been?" The conversation came naturally, but the awkward and tense atmosphere was lingering around us.

"Umm," he scratched the back of his head and I looked away for 0.5 seconds before looking back at him to find he was looking right back at me, "busy, I guess. You know, writing and releasing an album and stuff."

"Oh my gosh! Yes! Congratulations! I'm so looking forward to hearing it."

"Thanks, Lil. How are you anyways? It's been a while."

It really had been a while. Although, it seemed like a lot longer than it actually had been.