Exes With Feelings (h.s)

t w o

L i l y R o s e

I was now sat in my dressing room in front of a large mirror with bright lights surrounding its edges, and I could see the tall lady with dark eyes styling my chocolate hair to perfection inside of the glass, while the blonde lady beside her prodded at my face with different brushes and pigments. As I stared at myself, I could only relive and overthink the short conversation that I had previously had with Harry. He seemed well. The last image that I had of him in my head was his broken face and dishevelled hair as I walked out of the door early that morning.

*
We were lying naked in our bed. I could feel his stare burning into the side of my face as my stinging eyes focussed on the ceiling. No words could explain how I felt. I mean, how was I supposed to feel? I had just broken up with the love of my life and this may have been the last time we would know each other intimately. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look at what I had let go. I couldn't, otherwise I would crumble.

"Say something, please baby." his hands rested on my stomach as I took deep breaths.

"You know why I'm doing this, don't you?" I finally turned to look at him, and somehow, my heart shattered even more. "I still love you, Harry. That hasn't changed. You know that, right?"

His sad eyes found mine and he solemnly nodded, "I know, baby, I know. I just wish it didn't have to be like this."

I didn't respond. My gaze just returned to the white structure of the bedroom as I felt Harry's breath on my shoulder. He was crying. I couldn't stand to see him crying.
*

"There you go, Lily." Becky, my hairstylist, brought me out of my daydream. I think I jumped slightly at her voice. She and my makeup artist had finished. I really had to stop thinking about the past - but then again, it's the only thing I had to hold on to.

Looking at my image in the mirror, I smiled approvingly which made the ladies happy with their work, and so they walked off to work on their next client. The smile faltered; I wasn't me. Sure, I looked like me, sounded like me, and acted like me, but I wasn't me. It didn't make sense. I thought I had moved on with my life. I thought Harry and me was something of the past. Seeing him reminded me that I was just fooling myself.

It's as though that night never happened. He seemed fine. We seemed fine. Everything was too fine.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the time. It was just half an hour until the show began, so I decided to put on my clothes. Being careful not to smudge my makeup and scruff up my elegant ponytail, I slipped into a black bodycon dress that came up to mid-calf. The black stilettos on my feet were far from comfortable, but I didn't bring any others so I couldn't do anything about it. I felt pretty. It had been a while since I had felt pretty.

As I opened the door to the main dressing room, I could hear the voices from inside. I must've been the last person to be ready because everyone else seemed to have been in there for a while - typical!

"Lily, darling! You look beautiful." my PR manager, Steph, grinned at my like a proud mother. I laughed at her adoring eyes and thanked her.

I saw him. His suit was grey and checkered - he looked so handsome. When he first saw me, his eyes went straight to my body, making me feel nervous, but they soon trailed up to my face. He didn't speak for a moment, and there was a crack in his facade. That crack, that moment of remorse, showed me that this was difficult for him too. As selfish as it was, it made me relieved. It showed me that he acknowledged what we had.

He just smiled at me, and I was happy. If this was a few years ago, he would be telling me how he thought I looked and the compliments would be making me blush as I swatted away his ambitious hands. But that was then, this is now.

"Nice suit." I said innocently.

"Nice dress," he replied, "is it new?"

I felt heat rushing to my shoulders and neck as I looked to the ground. I felt overwhelmed with emotion, so I simply nodded. His smile dropped ever so slightly; he noticed my change in behaviour. I forget how well he knew me and was able to read my expressions.

Harry mingled with everyone as I spoke to my manager about what I was able to say about the film I was promoting and what I had to keep quiet - interviews like these were always something that made me feel slightly anxious. I didn't want to mess up or reveal anything that I wasn't supposed to, so I always had my manager and colleagues explain to me what they wanted me to do. This lasted for only a few minutes, because before I knew it, I heard a muffled,

"It's showtime."

~
omg!! i can't believe i'm writing again! i've missed it so much :) i'm really excited about this book and i hope you guys are too!