Exes With Feelings (h.s)

f i v e

L i l y R o s e

I watched as he disconnected his hands from my waist and sauntered over to the door that opened up to his living room and with one look, he had beckoned me to join him. The door shut behind me and it was just us. All I could hear was the sizzle from the fire that was burning out beside us, Harry's deep breathing, and my heart that was beating faster than my mind could keep up with.

There was a few moments in which we just stared at each other. His eyes had the flame of the fireplace burning inside of them, and the twinkle that they once possessed was apparent. My hands felt clammy as his footsteps started coming close - we both knew what was about to go down.

When his hungry lips found mine, I was taken to a place that I hadn't been in a while. It was the place where all my dreams were set. It was the place where the happy couple that we once were would get lost. It was my favourite place.

His movements were slow and as I felt his hands grip the hair at my back, I was brought back to reality. I tried so hard to ignore the anxious thoughts building up in my stomach, but I couldn't. My eyes began to water, and thats when I had to stop him.

I pushed at his chest, trying to hide my tear-stained cheeks, "Stop!"

"Did I do something?" he was hurt. I hated to be the one to hurt him, again, but I felt if those actions were to continue, he would end up getting even more hurt. So would I.

"You can't... you can't fucking.." I couldn't get the words out because I was scared if I spoke, they would be replaced by sobs.

His hands were soft yet stern as he tried to wipe the tears from my face, but I couldn't stop myself from pushing his arms away, "I can't what? What's the matter, ba-"

"Don't. Don't call me that." The harshness in my tone was unnecessary, but I was angry at him. I didn't know why. The urge to yell at him was too strong, so I did. "You can't fucking kiss me and make me feel like that after everything that's happened."

The loud music outside and the wine in my system was making my head pound, but the one thing I could make out was the broken boy who stood in front of me pulling at his perfectly imperfect hair.

The volume of his voice matched mine now, "What the fuck? You're the one who left me. You're the one who broke my heart. You're the one who gave up when things got just a little bit hard. You may have stopped loving me, but I never stopped loving you... and I'm scared I'll never fucking stop!"

"Gave up? Harry if we continued like we were, things would've ended up a lot worse than this. And who the fuck said I stopped loving you? I broke up with you because I loved you! Just because I was the one to bring it up, doesn't mean it affected me any less!" My arms flailed up in the air in frustration.

"You didn't spend countless nights crying like I did. You didn't have to pretend you were okay when you were literally dying inside like I did."

When he said this, I laughed. I laughed like a madwoman. I didn't cry? I didn't have to hide my heartbreak? Bollocks. "You have no idea."

With that statement, I wiped my cheeks and stormed out the door to get my bag. I was leaving. My eyes scanned the party room as I saw people dancing, singing, and drinking under the dim lights. I saw Gem and quickly waved her goodbye before walking straight to the front door.

As I opened it, I shivered as the cool wind hit me, causing an ocean of goosebumps to rise on my arms.

"Lil, wait." Harry's voice was once again calling for me. Before I could walk out, his hand gently grasped my wrist. "You can't walk back like this. Upset, drunk..." I gave him a stern look, causing him to chuckle and change his statement. "Upset, wine-influenced, and on top of that you will freeze."

My hands wrapped around my body, already freezing. "I'll be fine,"

"No, Lil. Come on, you can stay here," he paused awkwardly, "in the guest room. People will be gone in half an hour. I don't care how angry you are at me or I am at you, but I'm not letting you put yourself in danger. You're a pretty, and currently vulnerable, girl and you know what the streets of London are like at this time of night."

Sighing appreciatively, I smiled at him and rejoined the party, which ended not much later. Harry saw the last person out, who happened to be our good friend Sean, and returned while yawning. I laughed inwardly at his tired state - he was always the life of the party so it was no wonder as to why he was always so exhausted after.

His hair was a total mess and the shirt that had been tucked into his bottoms was now hanging out of the top with one too many buttons undone.

I felt my cheeks grin at the sight of him sitting down with his head in his hands... he really was exhausted. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I popped the kettle on and made him a cup of tea.

"Here, H." I placed my hand on his back for a slight second as I leaned down to put the mug in front of him.

"Thank you, Lil."

Without thinking, I started walking around the kitchen like it was my own place - I opened various cupboards to pick up black bin bags and countertop wipes. I didn't realise I had made myself so at home until I saw him watching me intently.

Tonight was going to be a long night.